A blind man sitting on a stool,
about him the marketplace is frantic,
And it's roar assaults his ears.
He is greeted by a young man,
and the sweet sound of his wooden flute.
"Blind man!" he calls, "Be free of this noise!
For I shall play for you
The most beautiful song in the world."
"Is that so?" Inquired the blind man.
"Aye!" said the young piper,
"I know all songs that are sung,
each and every one, and for you
I play the most beautiful of songs
ever crafted by the hands of men and women."
"Sing for me, then," the blind man said,
"The song of the wind that whispers,
and laughs a warm, light breath,
and roars in gusts and gales
like no orchestra of man,
that wails like no choir,
and moans through the ear, I say!
"Sing for me then," the blind man said,
"The song of the trees that creak,
and groan with the voice of the woods,
deep and great as the chorus of winds,
And how their trunks quake, and branches shake,
and the leaves that rustle and fall.
Sing for me that song!
"Sing for me then," the blind man said,
"The song of the river that giggles,
a brook that chatters, a stream that trickles,
A waterfall that roars, the hissing of the spray,
on the stones down below, as the rain falls down,
applauding as it meets the calm of the pond.
"Sing for me, then," the blind man said,
"The song of the calling birds,
their chirps and sweet whistles,
or that of the squirrels that chitter and squeak,
or the long, slow mourning song
of a wolf in the night.
Sing for me, young piper,
The most beautiful song in the world!"
The piper there stood, and was humble.
"Blind man," said he, "I know not the song
of the wind that howls, nor the river that laughs,
or the leaves and the trees that rustle and creak,
or that of the animals that chirp and chatter."
The blind man smiled. "Of course you don't!
For you have never listened!
Where the sounds of man are silent,
where his influence is gone,
there play the songs of nature,
not for mine ears, nor thine,
They sing because they are,
whether or not you are there to listen."
Wow! Nicely done, Methrirr. This poem was very well written. You have a great message in it to. It feels like a parable to me, and a stunning one at that. The first half of this poem reads a like prose to me. The second half is what really blew me away.
I suggest you look into making the first half read more poetically, and less like prose. Otherwise you risk driving off your reader base. That would be very disappointing, because this poem is amazing. There are times in the poem where you mix your words up and use 'poet speak'. These bits were few and far between, but take any chance you can to avoid them. Poet speak is cumbersome to me, but if you like, by all means, keep it.
Okay! That's all I've got. This poem is very well written, keep up the good work.
First I have to say that I enjoyed reading this poem (was smiling all through) I loved the way you used imagery and personification to transfer the mind into the world of the old man and the young singer but I think you could have made the poem broader by laying emphasis on the contrast between the old man's idea of the most beautiful music and young singers idea of the most beautiful music cause after reading through the poem all we see is the old man's idea of beatiev music you cold have shown us what the young singer thinks is beautiful music thereby enabling the reader to draw a conclusion. But as I said earlier this poem is beautiful keep writing. -orel-
holy shit that made my night! this poem is so deep i felt tears well in my eyes, no joke! I love this poem and only wish one day i can achieve such an amazing work of art like you have. i am completely blown away by your talent.
I am by no means particularly talented at poetry, but here are some comments regarding your poem/ballad. (On an unrelated note, which one is it?)
Overall, the feel of the poem and what you're trying to communicate goes across beautifully, especially loving the contrast between the blind old man and the healthy youngster.
This sounds a bit awkward. I believe it is likely because you mentioned the marketplace being 'frantic', which automatically generates the sound of the 'roar', I like the use of assault. It may also because of the syllables (it doesn't give the impression of an end). Perhaps considering changing it to
A well placed pause.
I liked the entire stanza that you wrote apart from this bit. The rest was very image provoking, but then you follow it with 'moaning through the ear', the imagery is slightly distorted. Maybe consider changing it to be more consistent?
This bit is also a favourite. Really gives the impression of sound. But for 'the river that giggles', change it to 'a river that giggles', again for consistency.
Add extra syllables to the second line.
I understand why you reversed the words, but it would make more sense if you just used 'stood there'. Unless you replace it.
The last stanza is beautiful, ties up the poem neatly and definitely gives the reader a sense of satisfaction.
Overall, extremely well done!
Very nice I like the piece at the end.