You are not a failure.
If I’m being candid, I have been struggling lately with feeling like a failure. My creativity has felt shot down and not much has made me feel motivated. All my days seem to blend together with the same routine. It looks like this: force myself out of bed, coffee (immediately), get ready for class, go to class, go to the library and study (more coffee), workout (if I feel motivated to), go back to my room and mindlessly scroll through social media or watch Netflix, repeat. As of recently, there has been no grit and no passion for what I was doing.
I knew something had to be done and I have started working on a life that I can leap out of bed for. With a happy heart, I can say I am so excited for all I have planned. It is going to be hard and I have to keep reminding myself that I am not a failure. My plans have changed, and I have changed, and that is okay. I don’t have to do what I said I was going to. I don’t have to stay where I said I’d be. It’s okay that what use to make me happy has changed. I am growing, and sometimes that is uncomfortable. Right now, I am figuring out just what my new plan is going to look like. I’m taking my time, making sure I leave room for it to change and grow too.
I guess the point of this piece is that I want you to know you are not a failure if you’re not doing what you told anyone you would be. I’m working on changing majors and hobbies. I am writing a lot and it is making me so happy. I am also learning to let my writing be what I want it to be. Sometimes I feel pressured to write something I think represents who people think I am instead of what I am really feeling. I have some crazy ideas I have been afraid to write. Lately, I have been letting myself write boldly, and I am working on letting myself share it. Life is not meant to be linear, it is okay to change. You can change your hair, your mind, your opinions, your job, or your major. Change does not make you a failure, it means you actually care about living an authentic and happy life.
If change is knocking at your door, do not be afraid. Run with it. Let yourself transform. Let yourself fail a little because failure is something you do not something you are. Failure in one place leads you to success in another place. Let yourself live. Let yourself learn. Help yourself leap out of bed in the morning.