Published October 22, 2012
Dear Future Daughter,
I love you. I will always love you, and never forget this fact. Never worry about me not loving you. Never think for an instance that I will have any regrets about a fight we will have or a heart-to-heart we will share.
I want you to be a cheerleader or a gymnast, but if you want to be a writer, I won't mind. If you want to be a singer or a basketball player or an accountant, I'll be proud of you. I want you to put in all of your effort, though. That is all I ask for.
I want you to be good, too. Stay away from drugs and alcohol, even though the temptation is high. It is only because I care about your health and don't want to see you go through Hell.
Lastly, follow your heart. If you think something is right, go for it. If you think something is wrong, stay away. Live a life you can look back upon and be proud of. You only live once, my darling, so make it worthwhile.
Mommy loves you, baby girl.
-Mom <3
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141,475 Literary Works • 674,496 Reviews
Howdy!
I'm going to review this!
Firstly I'm just going to say that you need to sort out the paragraphing. This is a letter to your future daughter yet it is not in a letter format. Therefore after:
there needs to be a new line. Standard essay layout.
Therefore it also makes sense that at the end you have a gap before you write 'Mom' as it just makes it look more like a letter.
If I'm honest you need to expand this. There isn't much body too it. Maybe put more explanation in. Learn from the mother's mistakes?
In addition, if someone was writing to their daughter they would never say 'I want you to do this.' I think you need to be careful therefore when you say:
If my Mother said that to me I'd feel pressured.
Other than that though it isn't too bad!
Hey there
I like ths. It might become much better if you work on it a little bit more, though.
The first thing I don't like is that there is not much information the reader gets. I'm sure it doesn't have to be a lot of explaining but a little would be enough just to make reader feel your words better. Also, that way you will avoid the pathetic tone. I'm not sure if you know what I mean - it feels a little too 'i want you to do this, i want you to do that, love, your mom' ish XD
Also, I'd suggest a letter layout
Other than that I quite like this!
Keep writing
Love
Klara <3