(song I wrote for a...love interest, shall we say, that recently moved away for college. enjoy. )
We talked all night while the moon rose/ It was gettin' cold so you held me close /layin' there I realized I never want to let you go
I'm scared to love you/ Love means vulnerability /Trusting you to catch me when I fall / I don't wanna love you
Love leads to broken hearts/ And building better walls
I keep dreaming of seeing you again someday/ I've gotta see you, somehow I'll find a way/ I don't want this feeling to fade
It wasn't easy to watch you when you left me there/We both know fate is cruel, life's not fair/I'll hold the past because the future makes me scared
I'm scared to love you/Love means vulnerability/Trusting you to catch me when I fall/I don't wanna love you/Love leads to broken hearts/And building better walls
It felt like forever and it wasn't enough, it wasn't enough/You said we can't help what we feel/Well I think I'm in love
I'm scared to love you/Love means vulnerability/Trusting you to catch me when I fall/I don't wanna love you
Love leads to broken hearts/And building better walls
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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thanks so much for your input!
it's simply untitled because I haven't figured out what I want to call this song... as for the dashes, the lines were being strange and the whole thing looked weird... and when I write down my lyrics that's how I tend to break up the phrases, so, yeah.
thanks again!
-mcbeff
I liked it. It was the type of poetry that I can understand and really like.
I don't like commenting on poetry, because I personally don't think I know anything about it. But I can tell you some things that I noticed.
The first thing is you didn't call it anything. Unless you really meant to call it untitled, but I didn't see anything about untitled in it. That was the first thing that caught my eye. I also noticed the dashes. I guess it could just be the style of your poem, but usually poems are in stanzas or lines. The dashes just surprised me, and if you didn't mean to make them part of your poem I suggest breaking it up into stanzas.
I loved how your poem flowed so perfectly and I actually felt like I was there watching the two of them. It makes me want to fall in love, even though I don't think guys are worth it.
I wish you luck on writing. And you truly have a gift for poems.