I know, it is short....
Chapter Two
This can’t be. I traced the deeply carved words with my fingers. Anna had very unique handwriting, so nobody else could have written it. She always made a dash through her O’s, and made a curve on the top of her H’s. The carving had both of those features. Could somebody be playing a trick on me? Who else knew what Anna’s handwriting looked like? Anna and I’s only other close friend was named Patrick. I sighed and rolled my eyes. Patrick. He was a real prankster. How could he do this to me? How could he be so low? Both he and I were very sensitive about Anna, why would he do something like this?
Oh, crap, Hayden and Dashil! I forgot they had already started going home. I peered up the path that lead back up to our house. But I let my breath out when I spotted them sitting down in the middle of the path playing with something, probably a bug. They were so fascinated with bugs. I started walking to them and dialed Patrick’s number on my phone. After a couple rings, he picked up.
“Hey Lace!”
“Patrick! How could you do something like that? You have no idea how much that freaked me out!” I shouted into the phone,
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down. What on earth are you talking about?”
“Don’t play innocent. I know you did it.”
“I have no idea what you are talking about. You are kind of freaking me out here.”
His voice sounded pure, and I almost believed him. But Patrick was good at lying.
“Park bench…ring a bell?”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Wow, Patrick,” I said sarcastically, “give it up. You carved ‘bottom wasn’t death’ in Anna’s handwriting on the park bench. Were you trying to scare me?”
Patrick was silent for a couple seconds, and when he replied his tone made a shiver go up my spine.
“I’m coming over.”
Then the line went dead.
End of chapter
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Wow! Intense! I loved it! Other than the very few corrections I had to make, this was definitley a good piece. Your dialogue flowed well. I liked your MC and the description. I would have liked your MC to tell us how Patrick's voice sounded on the phone when he said "I'm coming over". Maybe have him sound scared, have him say it in an intense voice that makes goosebumps crawl up Lace's back.
Other than that, good job! If you have any questions, feel free to PM me!