Published May 25, 2010
George Boleyn had a woman
And he was in love with Francis Weston
As you are in love with Henry VIII
As I am with my history teacher
Watch us!
Prancing around court
Me married off at twelve
Having a man twice my age
With not a care in the world
You watching over me
Like an older brother
Henry doesn’t look like he does on The Tudors
You might as well admit that he was fat
That he ought to be the one with child
And not Anne
I’m fertile enough now
And your Francis Weston doesn’t love you back
Like I do
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141,415 Literary Works • 674,394 Reviews
Poetry has never been one of my favorite things to read, but I really do love this. The wording and just the way you put it all together is wonderful. Only complaint I have is that there is a need for more punctuation marks here. Other then that, bravo! I hope to be reading more from you in the future!
Hello, there. You seem pretty new, so if I may suggest that you get around to reviewing other users? Doing so will help you get the points you need to post more works and also net you more reviews in turn.
There are only two issues I have with this poem, and the first is punctuation. There is not enough of it, and so it results in a lot of run-ons, which makes this poem super confusing.
The second thing has to do with this line: "Henry doesn’t look like he does on The Tudors". The modern reference just really doesn't fit with the rest of the poem, and I felt like it came out of nowhere.
Other than that, I think you could play around with the line breaks a little to spice things up a bit. Right now, where they're placed doesn't really add anything to the poem. Where you begin and end your lines can have a huge impact on your poem, so experiment a little.
Overall, this wasn't a bad poem. It really does need punctuation, though.
First off,