Published January 12, 2013
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141,610 Literary Works • 675,143 Reviews
Hello Hello a Demon has come to give you a review!
So, I really liked this, the language was a bit dry and it would be easier to read if you divided this into a few stanzas and maybe looked over the punctuation but I love the story this is telling and the emotions it awakens. This is simply told but still raises alot of thought and emotion. The ending is plain, but still perfect somehow. It's not the most vivid and wordly advanced piece I've read but it's still quite amazing. Well done!
Good Luck & Keep Writing
// Demoness
Wow. I think this is really good. I'm assuming it's a form of free verse right? I like that it took until the end for me to catch on (I thought the speaker was just a friend or something until the end) and I like that you told a story without directly talking about it. I think the flow of the poem could use a little work, it doesn't seem to go together in some places as well as it could.
Sorry if I wasn't any help, I'm not the best reviewer of poetry. It's very interesting and well-written for the most part! Keep writing!
-Raelyn