Published April 11, 2010
The icy bite of frosty death
Shadows caper madly in desperate ire
Hiss and the swift dark plunges
The pleasure and welcome of descent into black
The freezing surround
Does blaze with the chill
Lie in the dark
And let it engulf you
The cold or the warm
The dark or the light
In final strands of life
'Ware the shadows
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141,293 Literary Works • 674,334 Reviews
It confused me, I didn't really figure out the meaning. I think you should put in punctuation, other than that I liked it, and the winter imagery is good.
Its a nice poem, but im trying to get my head around the aspect and meaning of your poem...
i can kinda get the drift...
Explain please
But overall, nice job. Its makes me visualise a rather intrestring string of images
The poem is ok, but I think there are a couple of things you might need to work on.
I liked the first two paragraphs, but this one, I think, needs to be rephrased.
"The cold or the warm
The dark or the light
In final strands of life
'Ware the shadows"
The first two lines are just contradictions, and it doesn't really totally resonate with the reader. I also am wondering if 'ware means beware??? You kept me hanging there.
However, you are a good poet, I liked "The freezing surround, does blaze with chill."
Keep writing!
-Jane
Good start to a winter poem, but I think it's due for some condensing! I love the line "Shadows caper madly in..." It's strong and intriguing, however it doesn't need "in desperate ire" to get the point across. What if you made this line the first line of the poem? I think it would be a better start.
All in all, you've got this interesting contradictions thing going on - cold and warm, the blaze of the chill, the dark and light. I think you can one up yourself and find some that are better. Find a new way to describe the cold that's unlike any other you've heard before.
Also, why did you turn beward into 'ware? I'm curious.