E - Everyone

Gamers: The Beta / Prologue

PreviousNext

                “Palm Beach.” Tabitha’s mother stepped out onto the balcony and made a show of inhaling the salt air. “Our skin is going to be absolutely radiant.” The woman was wearing a low cut satin nightie, no shoes and definitely no underwear. She was an unimpressive 5”4 with waves of faded blonde hair that travelled to her lower back. Years of dying away the grey had definitely taken its toll, the same with her incessant sun tanning. Moira’s skin was almost leathery, every bit had been pulled and tugged into place forcefully; it was difficult for Tabitha to recall what her mother looked like before all of the surgery.

                Moira had been such a beautiful woman before suffering the betrayal of divorce. The inevitable pain of a custody battle had taken its toll and then some. Youthful skin that appeared sun kissed after being in the sun for even a little while, a vibrant smile that showed a perfect row of sparkling white teeth and a body that was highly admired by their pool boy. That’s just one of the many things that Moira Hearty used to be described as. Tabitha almost felt sorry for the woman, but she knew better. Her mother was no longer upset by the separation from Tabitha’s father or the fact that he had abandoned them for a twenty one year old model; they were now just excuses.

                Excuses for the binge drinking, the constant fling with men that she picked up in bars and certainly the episodes she had where she wouldn’t return for weekends at a time.

                “Are we going to stay here for longer than a month this time?” Tabitha heard from what family members still kept in touch that she was the spitting image of her mother. The same wavy hair, lapis lazuli eyes and a slender physique that remained unchanging despite her lack of exercise. However now they couldn’t have been more different, Tabitha had never tanned her delicate skin or saw the need to dye her hair. She had a hunch that that’s why they argued so much, Tabitha was a constant reminder of what she used to be.

                It was around six thirty in the afternoon and the last few groups of teenagers were preparing to leave the beach. The tide had come in and an unbroken cerulean coated the sky. “Well we’ve lasted three weeks already, ask me again next week.” Moira leant forward and swirled her crystallised glass, the scotch danced around the ice cubes and then disappeared as she took the last swig.

                “Moira, can you try to be an adult, just for once?” Tabitha shoved her hands into the pockets of her Abercrombie sweatshirt and turned to head back inside. “I am an adult, I pay the bills, I—”

                “Using my inheritance to pay for this house isn’t responsible, drinking one hundred dollar scotch in the morning isn’t responsible and wearing clothes that are designed for women half your age certainly isn’t responsible.” Tabitha spat the words like a snake releasing its venom. The look on her mother’s face confirmed that her words had stung. She’d gone for a low blow and didn’t feel anything but guilt for succeeding.

                “A package came for you earlier, I was going to put it in your room but I know you hate me going in there.” Moira continued looking out into the horizon and Tabitha thought that it’d be best to leave her. “Thank you.” She muttered as she walked through her mother’s bedroom and into the hallway.

Like their last three homes in three different states, the hallways were lined with pictures. Understandably they were all of Tabitha but she hated being photographed, even as a baby. The wallpaper was an off shade of white with black trimming, something the realtor had labelled as the new ‘in’ thing.

                The living room was in the very centre of the house. The hallway circled directly around it and stopped either side of a marble staircase. The gigantic front double doors were glass with a dark mahogany fixture; they were in full view of the L shaped couch. Opposite of the couch there was an expensive fire place, encrusted with a jewel that Tabitha couldn’t remember the name of. Beneath the furniture lay a snow white rug, it reminded her of the aunts Old English sheepdog.

                Tabitha looked over the bannister and there was a large, square cardboard box sitting on the coffee table. Suddenly she realised what it could be, she never thought it would come. “It came!” She exclaimed, quickly running down the marble steps.

                Hastily turning the box around, there was the large Envirotech logo on the side. They’d been the first company in history to create a fully functional 3D reality. The game, titled Gamers was meant to be action packed and realistic in every way, there had been rumours that you could even taste the food. Tabitha had been one of millions to watch exclusive backstage workings of the programme; it had been planned and redesigned more than six hundred and thirty nine times. “I can’t believe I passed the beta survey.”

For eighteen hours, the Envirotech website had given the public access to a survey with over a hundred questions. Each question was designed to determine whether or not the participant was suitable for beta testing.

                Tabitha opened the box and awed at the hardware inside. A head seat that sat over the eyes was on top of something square, she unwrapped the packaging and looked it over. Do not place over glasses was engraved into the side, she put them beside her on the couch. Beneath the headset was what she assumed was the actual 3D device, it was a hard drive with a computer screen embedded on the top of it. As soon as Tabitha placed her fingers either side of it to lift it out, it turned on.

                “Welcome, player.” The holographic image of an animated woman appeared. She was shown from the shoulders up and looked to be wearing a white lab coat. Her hair was a deep burgundy and she wore round spectacles. “Congratulations on being selected for the Gamers beta, the first virtual reality game in existence.” Tabitha placed the device onto the coffee table beside the box and brought her knees up to her chest. She figured the opening video was going to be long, so she might as well have gotten comfy.

                “The game was created countless years ago by a one, Edgar Shogurh. The founder and CEO of Envirotech, this was the last device that he ever designed and we have now carried out his dream. May he rest in peace and forever know that this was all possible because of him. The video you are now watching will last no more than seven minutes and it is advisable that you watch all of it before setting up the game.”

                Tabitha had researched everything there was to know about Edgar Shogurh. He had been fourteen when he’d gotten arrested for trying to buy plutonium on the black market, something needed for one of his earlier inventions. He grew up in Toronto, Canada with his single mother and attended a regular high school. At the age of twenty eight, he had created his own freelance home-based company that designed security systems.

                After that, he pretty much rocketed to success and became a multimillionaire overnight. He became a household name only two months after starting up his company and then finally sold it. That’s when he created Envirotech, a company aiding the government on logical ways to sustain the Earth. Obviously in his spare time he had designed Gamers, and now the beta version of the game was being distributed to several counties on each continent.

                The game had already been tested and approved by a number of renowned scientists –just one fact that was released during a number of televised conferences- and was now ready to be tested by the public.

                Tabitha watched the rest of the opening video and was practically at the edge of her seat by the end. It was filled with health and safety risks, where not to put the device and other obvious things.

                Excitedly putting everything back into the box, she carried the load upstairs and placed it at the edge of the bed. Tabitha quickly stripped herself of her shorts and sweatshirt and replaced them with sweats and a tank top. She removed her laptop from atop her desk and eagerly plugged in the Gamers device. She stretched the lead as far as it would go and connected it to the headset. Taking a deep breath and stretching out onto her bed, she placed the headset over her eyes and gasped as the feeling of falling enveloped her.

                Quickly, Tabitha could feel the realism of her bedroom fading away. The softness of her duvet disappeared and her whole body felt as if she were floating. Suddenly the darkness that had accompanied the odd sensation illuminated and she was standing in what appeared to be a waiting room.

                “Character customisation activated.”

Comments & reviews · 4
Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

User avatar
OliveDreams
Review

Wow! I'm glad the system chose me to be your secret santa :) I really love this idea..its unique to anything that I've read on here before and its exciting to think of how many different directions you could take it!
First of all, I really like the relationship that you've created between mother and daughter. It's very real and modern. It seems to be a rare thing now for people to age with a little grace!
I also like the way you gave us a little background into their moving around and also a little background into the inventor of this 'Gamers'. I have a feeling that all this info is going to be of use a little later on in the story!
Now down to the nitty gritty - No complaints about the actual way you write. It's serious, funny & has got me completely interested. I would just make a few points about where you could make the read a little easier to flow.
'It was around six thirty in the afternoon' - Isn't six thirty the evening?
'Suddenly she realised what it could be, she never thought it would come. “It came!” She exclaimed, quickly running down the marble steps.' - I think maybe you could word this a little better. Maybe by having 'Suddenly she realised what it could be. "It came!" She exclaimed, never thinking that it would.'
'so she might as well have gotten comfy.' - Maybe you could change this to 'So she thought she might as well be comfortable' to make it flow a little better.
Other than those little things - I think this is great! KEEP WRITING! Looking forward to reading something more of yours.
Good luck :) Happy July Christmas!!!!
xox

User avatar
MTBassiony
Review

Hey Maleficent,
I'm here to review your story: The Gamers. Well the title is very catchy, cool and creative. You did a very good describing your charachters and places, Your writing style is awesome and you write as if you were the tabitha or even morila, you put yourself in their places and write from their point of view, which is a talent that will help you in writing.
The game itself is interesting and suspensing, and the fact that the person who invented it was trying to buy plutonium when he was fourteen gives the story an edge. I really like the story-and the game ofcourse-hope to see the next chapter soon.

Best wishes,

MTB.

Random avatar
Mehmehmehmeh Comment

Heya, even tho i'm not a literate mastermind, i wanted to try and help!
I agree with Birkhoff about the story being a little slow at first, but interesting.

The concept is really exciting, i'm looking forward seeing what will happen in the game. Things like, if you die in the game you die in real life etc..
To me it's awesome Edgar is dead, it makes him mysterious. But i think it would give you more space to work with if he was missing- assumed to be dead.. He could be living in the game for instance (Very tron-ish i know)

Anyways, i love the idea!

Hugs and Kisses.

User avatar
birk
Review
birk wrote a review · Thu Jul 04, 2013 8:27 pm

Hey maleficent!

Well, this sounded pretty interresting and its going to be tricky reviewing this as I found your other work practically spotless. But we'll give it a shot!

First off, your writing is excellent with great character and environmental descriptions as well as good dialogue.

Now, I really like this piece as it sort of reminds me of a novel called "Ready Player One", in which science fiction and virtual reality is the subject. However, I feel it took a while to get to the point. I realise of course, that this is a prologue and backstory for your main character is requiered, but I still think you could have approched or introduced your story in a different way.

For instance, it wasn't until towards the end of the piece that I really know what the story is about. Up until that point it looked like a family drama. Even though the mother is a good character with very real traits (I know people like this).

But then we move on to the portion about Gamers, which is really interesting. The idea of virtual reality is a really interesting one and something I myself believe will come into play as technology evolves.

Edgar Shogurh seems like an interesting character, too bad he's dead. But the notion that his company finished his dream after his passing is neat though.

He had been fourteen when he’d gotten arrested for trying to buy plutonium on the black market
Whoa, he tried to buy plutonium?? I feel like I should quote Marty McFly here.

Alright, grammar wise, I really have no input. Good.

“Character customisation activated.”

Exciting!

I'm hoping to see follow-ups to this, seeing as things are starting to kick up. There's got to be a bunch of cool stuff in "Gamers", right?


Cheers.
Birkhoff

Thank you for the review!
I completely agree with how slow paced the Prologue was, I'll definitely remember that for the coming chapters.
<3

Heya, even tho i'm not a literate mastermind, i wanted to try and help!
I agree with Birkhoff about the story being a little slow at first, but interesting.

The concept is really exciting, i'm looking forward seeing what will happen in the game. Things like, if you die in the game you die in real life etc..
To me it's awesome Edgar is dead, it makes him mysterious. But i think it would give you more space to work with if he was missing- assumed to be dead.. He could be living in the game for instance (Very tron-ish i know)

Anyways, i love the idea!

Hugs and Kisses.

Shit, i replied to the wrong thing didn't i? xD



They who talk all day of beauty call all the plain things dirty
— John Darnielle