Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Short Story » Science

E - Everyone


by maishaywca

“It’s done!” shouted Rohan holding a little device in his hands. The device looked like a bottle of perfume except for the fact that it had two buttons (one red and one green) instead of a spray. It took Rohan 3 years to build this tiny device! “Finally! I’ve made it.Now, I hope that it works!” Rohan seemed to be unsure. Just then, Aurnob burst into his room. “Rohan-“ before Aurnob could even start talking, Rohan pressed the green button of his device. Aurnob stopped. He didn’t move, talk or even blink.Rohan observed Aurnob intensely. A drop of sweat was falling over Aurnob’s face.It had stopped too!”My device worked!”Rohan almost jumped. He held Aurnob by his hand, dragged him and made him sit on a chair.The drop of sweat was now a little down. Rohan pressed the red button and everything was back to normal. Aurnob looked around him shockingly.

“How on earth I am on thus chair?” he looked at Rohan foe answer.

”Well, it’s a secret!” said Rohan trying to hide his device.

“What do you mean by secret? What is it Rohan?” Aurnob became impatient.

“Alright. I will tell you. But promise me that you won’t tell about this to anyone.”

“Have I ever told anyone our secrets? Come on Rohan!!”

“No. But this is something serious. So-“

“I promise, my friend.”


Slowly, Rohan brought out his device.

“A bottle sprays?” Aurnob seemed surprised.

Rohan laughed hard.

“Seriously! You think this is a bottle spray?” Rohan continued to laugh.

“Well, then, what is it?”

“It’s a time pauser.”

“Time pauser?? It pauses time??”

“Not exactly. It works according to the reference frame.”

“Can you please explain?”

“Actually, this device makes the person holding it faster than others. If I am holding it, I am the observer and my frame will go faster than your frame. That’s why I was able to stop you and make you sit on the chair. Your frame was going slower than mine. It works for about 3 km around the observer.”

“Oh my gosh! You just made a history! You will get Nobel for this, Rohan!”

“Don’t get too much excited yet! I have a lot of research to do. I will make a thesis paper.”

“Go ahead! I can’t believe this!”

After Aurnob left, Rohan returned to his research.

“I just hope he doesn’t split everything out of excitement!” sighed Rohan. “There are a lot of works left!

Rohan placed a camera on his table and started recording. Then, he pressed the green button and tried moving things. When he returned to the reality, he saw the recording. No change! Everything seemed perfectly normal.

“So, the camera captures everything normally. It doesn’t go slow when I start my device.” Rohan murmured holding his device, “You pause time. I will call you TAUSER!”

He wrote a few things on his paper and looked at the clock.

“It’s already 4pm! I promised Suzana to meet at 4:30!”

He hurriedly changed his clothes and went to meet Suzana.

He saw Suzana wearing a blue dress and standing under an apple tree. She had tied her long hair in a braid.

Rohan ran to her, ”Hey Suzana!”But Suzana looked at him and turned away. Rohan wondered what he had done. He was not late! He tried calling her once again. This time Suzana looked angrily at him and opened her mouth to say something. Just then Rohan pressed Tauser and she stopped. Rohan tried to remember what day it was. It was Suzana’s birthday!

Rohan again pressed Tauser and shouted, ”Happy Birthday Suzana!”

Suzana stopped and looked delighted.

“You remember!”

“Off course! How can I forget?”

“Well, where’s my gift?”

“Your gift is, we will have dinner at a Chinese restaurant!”

“Really? That’s great! Thank you Rohan.”Suzana looked extremely happy. Rohan let out a small breath. That was close!

They started walking towards the park’s exit while talking. Rohan was careful not to mention about Tauser to Suzana. Suddenly, Rohan saw that a little boy about 3 years old was going to jump in the lake to get his ball and his mother was coming behind him screaming. But she was late. The kid jumped.

Without thinking further, Rohan pressed Tauser.The boy stopped halfway. Rohan ran to him and pulled him out of the lake. Then he again pressed Tauser. The kid’s mother came running. She was surprised as well as grateful. “I don’t know how to thank you!” she said to Rohan almost crying.

“You don’t have to mam.”

“How did you reach the kid? You were just beside me!” Suzana interrogated Rohan suspiciously.

“Well, I ran super-fast!” Rohan couldn’t find a better excuse. Suzana didn’t say anything but she was not quite convinced.

A few days passed by. Rohan remained very busy with his work. One day, Aurnob came to Rohan and said,”Rohan, Can I borrow your time pauser device for a day?’

“You mean Tauser? Why do you need that?”

“I want to make fun of some mean boys in my locality.”

‘But Aurnob, this is a serious invention. You can’t use it for fun!”

“I know. I will be careful. I will not let anything happen to it, I promise, No one will know. Please, Rohan!”

Rohan couldn’t refuse his best friend. “Alright, be careful.”

“I will be.”

Aurnob returned Tauser to Rohan the next day. That day, Rohan saw a very strange news on TV. There had been a robbery in the City Bank. About 5 crore money has been stolen. But the strange thing is, no one say any robbery! No robber entered the bank but the money is just gone!

The news seemed much strange to Rohan. But then he completely forgot about it until the evening.

In the evening, Rohan’s doorbell rang. He opened the door and became shocked to see police standing.

“Are you Mr.Rohan?” asked the police who seemed to be their senior.

“Yes.” Replied Rohan, still in shock.

“We have come to arrest you in the charge of City Bank robbery.”

‘Excuse me? What have I done?”

“We have come to know you have a device which can stop time.” Rohan was surprised as ever.

“Who told you that sir?”

“Your friend Aurnob.”

Rohan became speechless. Now the robbery seemed to make sense. Aurnob had done it with the help of Tauser!

The police had started to search his house. Very soon they found Tauser and his thesis paper.

“Mr.Rohan you have to come to the police station.”

“But sir, I have done nothing!”

“Whatever you have to say, say in the police station.”

The police took Rohan to the police station. He saw Aurnob there. The police locked him inside the jail. A few moments later, Aurnob came.

“Why, Aurnob? You did all this!”

“I am sorry Rohan. I couldn’t help it. I was broke. My mother is sick. I needed money.”

“But why did you frame me?”

“I had no choice but to use you as my cover, sorry friend.”

Aurnob walked away without giving Rohan a chance to say anything.

After that, a police came and took Rohan for interrogation. On the way, he saw Suzana standing in a corner, crying. Rohan wondered what they had told her. In the interrogation room, Rohan was given a chair to sit. Before him, was sitting a senior inspector.

“DO you know why you are here, Mr.Rohan?”

“Yes, sir.” Replied Rohan looking tired.

“Do you have anything to say about it?”

“Look, sir. I have done nothing. I am just getting framed.”

“What do you mean?”

Rohan told everything to the inspector, about Tauser and Aurnob.

“Do you have any proof?”

Rohan was taken aback. He didn’t have any proof.

“No sir. But-“

“Look Mr.Rohan. We can’t do anything without proof.”

Suddenly, Rohan got an idea.

“Sir, did the bank have CCTVs?”

“Off course.”

“Sir, you should see the footages. My device doesn’t work in front of camera.”

“Are you sure?”

“Hundred percent.”

“Ok then. We will watch the CCTVs. But till then you will have to remain in our custody.”

Rohan was taken back to the jail where Suzana came to meet her.

“Rohan, is this true?”

“What do you think, Suzana?” Suzana seemed relieved.

“Why didn’t you tell me about that device?”

“I was going to surprise you!”

“Have you told them everything?’

“Yes. Don’t worry, I will be proven innocent soon.”

Rohan had to spend the night in the jail.

In the morning, an officer came to him. “You have been called to the interrogation room.”

Once again, Rohan went to the interrogation room and saw the same inspector.

“Mr.Rohan, we have got the CCTV footage. We want to play it in front of you.”

The inspector started the recording. At first, everything seemed normal. But then suddenly, they saw Aurnob entering the bank. He looked around and pressed Tauser. Then, he went inside the vaults and came out with the money. After that, he again pressed Tauser and came out acting like everything was normal.

“We are sorry Mr.Rohan. You got troubled for nothing. We will arrest Aurnob and make sure he gets highest punishments. You can go now, Mr.Rohan.” The inspector said to Rohan shaking hands.

“Thank you, sir.”

“”We thank you, Mr,Rohan. Also, you can take back your device.”

Rohan came out with Tauser and saw Suzana waiting for him.

“See, Suzana! I am proved innocent!”

Suzana smiled but didn’t reply.

They both went to the park walking. Rohan stopped in front of the lake and took out Tauser. With a twist, he broke it.

“What are you doing Rohan? You just destroyed your greatest invention. You could get Nobel!” shouted Suzana.

“No prize is greater than peace Suzana.”

Rohan took one last look at Tauser and threw it in the lake.

“The sunset loos beautiful, doesn’t it?”

Suzana didn’t reply.

“Let’s go home, Suzana.”

Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

Is this a review?



User avatar
44 Reviews

Points: 3165
Reviews: 44

Sat Dec 14, 2019 5:28 pm
jster02 wrote a review...

I've always been fascinated by the idea of freezing time. There are just so many interesting ways to use it in stories, and I never quite know what to expect when I stumble across it in fiction. I enjoyed this story about as much as the others I've seen with this sort of mechanic, and I especially liked the bit of foreshadowing with the camera at the beginning, because it was really well integrated so it didn't feel too obvious till the end. Him breaking the machine did a good job showing us just what kind of person Rohan is, as it doesn't take a detective to figure out that his machine would probably be weaponized in the end. I also noticed how the story was about 50% dialogue, which I felt was an interesting stylistic choice.

That said, I found it odd that the police hadn't looked at the CCTV tapes the moment they realized the bank had been robbed. By all accounts, Rohan shouldn't have been arrested at all, because they would've known Aurnob was the culprit from the tapes. That brings me to another question. How was Aurnob arrested in the first place? Couldn't he have gotten away with the Tauser without having had to frame Rohan at all? Or did he go to the police willingly? In that case, I guess it makes a little more sense, and I might have just misinterpreted things and you can ignore what I just said about him being arrested.

There were a few, more minor things I noticed. Admittedly, this is a little nitpicky, but at the very beginning, I found it odd that Rohan was celebrating before he'd properly tested his device. It might've made a little more sense to have him be a little nervous at first, wondering if it would really work, then test it, and get excited after it worked. I also thought it would've been interesting if, when Aurnob asks for the machine, you'd had Rohan have a brief moment of hesitation. (But honestly, it's such a minor thing, that you don't have to change it if you don't want to).

One last thing I noticed is that you used a lot of passive voice throughout. If you don't already know, passive voice is where a the action of a sentence is emphasized instead of the subject. In most cases, using the passive voice is frowned upon because it takes the reader out of the action and breaks their immersion. Active voice is the opposite of passive voice, where the subject itself performs the action stated by the verb. This is what most writers shoot for in their writing, For example, "He saw Suzana wearing a blue dress" is passive voice, while "Suzana wore a blue dress." is active. (Sorry if my explanation doesn't make much sense, a quick google search might yield a better one than I could give).

Aside from all that, I really did enjoy this. It kept me engaged throughout, and was full of interesting surprises. I'd say it's greatest strength was that I was never quite sure what was going to happen next. Anyways, hope to read more of your work soon, have a nice day!


User avatar
100 Reviews

Points: 7850
Reviews: 100

Mon Dec 09, 2019 5:11 pm
Necromancer14 wrote a review...

This is quite an interesting story! Here's my review:

"talk or even blink.Rohan observed Aurnob intensely."

"blink.Rohan"? I think you meant to put a space in-between the words. You have some other places also where there are two words without spaces between them. I would look through your story and fix those.

"“How on earth I am on thus chair?” he looked at Rohan foe answer."

"I" and "am" should be switched. Also, I think you meant to write "for an" when you wrote "foe." You have places where words are switched in other places too, so I would fix those blips as well.

"“Rohan-“ before Aurnob could even start talking, Rohan pressed the green button of his device. Aurnob stopped. He didn’t move, talk or even blink."

This was a great hook! It made me want to read more.

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this. I got pulled in and read to the end before I knew it. The pacing was quite good, and you did a great job with mixing up the sentence structures, giving the story a smooth read, which is a definite plus.

Anyway, that's the end of my review! I hope it was helpful. :)

maishaywca says...

Thank you very much!
Oh I did o lot of printing mistakes! Thank you very much for pointing out!

"We're just all nosy little busybodies."
— SirenCymbaline the Kiwi