Published March 31, 2005
The muse
---------------------
i seek the music
that will give enlightenment
to the eye of my mind
i seek a song
that will make my
ears bleed with joy
and make my fingernails
crack in fear
i seek the tune that
to birth inspiration
into my hand
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141,379 Literary Works • 674,383 Reviews
I think it's good, but yeah, expand a little. Maybe even just one more line to give it that finish it needs. Good start, just needs a bit of editing!
I agree with emotion_less. It ended way too soon. Add at least a couple more stanzas. And separate it into stanzas. You could have a much better poem on your hands.
It was okay, but nothing spectacular.
It seemed to end really abruptly, like it was going to go on and flourish into this really musical poem, but then it didn't.
It was ... alright, at best.
I mean, it was a good piece, but, it didn't really have anything special goin' for it, you know? I see what your saying, your message, but, I think you can do better than this.