the muse

by magusthemad

Published March 31, 2005

The muse
---------------------
i seek the music
that will give enlightenment
to the eye of my mind
i seek a song
that will make my
ears bleed with joy
and make my fingernails
crack in fear
i seek the tune that
to birth inspiration
into my hand

Comments & reviews · 6
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Muse
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Muse commented Comment · Apr 1, 2005

I think it's good, but yeah, expand a little. Maybe even just one more line to give it that finish it needs. Good start, just needs a bit of editing!

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niteowl
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niteowl commented Comment · Apr 1, 2005

I agree with emotion_less. It ended way too soon. Add at least a couple more stanzas. And separate it into stanzas. You could have a much better poem on your hands.

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Supermal
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Supermal commented Comment · Apr 1, 2005

It was okay, but nothing spectacular.

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emotion_less
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emotion_less commented Comment · Apr 1, 2005

It seemed to end really abruptly, like it was going to go on and flourish into this really musical poem, but then it didn't.

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ohhewwo
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ohhewwo commented Comment · Apr 1, 2005

It was ... alright, at best.

I mean, it was a good piece, but, it didn't really have anything special goin' for it, you know? I see what your saying, your message, but, I think you can do better than this.



Never use your shield as a dinner plate, for that is when the enemy is most likely to attack.
— The KotGR Commander