When you're a young little child,
who dreams all day long.
A small tiny child,
like the ones who believe in magic.
That's what you are, until you see,
the things that you shouldn't.
That's what happens when you grow up.
Whats left of that child is gone.
Reality takes over,
leaving behind a shell of a man.
A man that does nothing but work,
eat,
sleep,
repeat.
This is what happens,
when a childhood is over
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Most of us joke to keep the magic alive. Some adults go for scenic walks when they get the chance, reflecting on youthful memories, loves gone and loves present, things achieved and things hoped for
The ironic thing is that the child usually can't realize how peaceful and amazing life is until it fades/ gets bitter on them. Then once you realize it's going to slip away at some point it's hard to enjoy being a child while anticipating the labor to come when you know you're going to have to stand on your own two feet
Writing fiction/ short stories/ poems in spare time can help hold onto the magic inner child with the Moonstruck Eyes
Thank you!
I like this, it definitely hits some key points in what many do as adults, losing the fun in everything, and at the same time losing meaning. Definitely a problem many face. Good job, the setup and structure isnt bad, word choice keeps its elegance without needing long and strategic words to keep it afloat. As for the message, its in my opinion that reality is what you make it, not necessarily any one feeling or consciousness. Anyways, good job, and I cant wait to read more in the future! :3
Thank you!
Of course :3
Oh dang, this isn't inaccurate. I love the rhythm and twist on the rhyming pattern, "When you're a young little child,
who dreams all day long.
A small tiny child,
like the ones who believe in magic." I expected there would be something that would punch me in the face with a rhyme at the end. This could be regarded as a good or bad thing depending on the person, I personally like surprises in poems, but some could consider it off-putting or a bit annoying. In a serious poem like this, it works well. One other thing I would edit is the adjectives. "young," "little," "small," "tiny," are all a bit bland and could probably be trimmed down a bit. But overall, I really enjoyed this poem!
Thank you! I will definitely try to take into account my word choice when I go back and edit.