A little toy rabbit,
with fluffy white ears,
and a round curly tail.
Loved for bedtime,
and great for playtime.
A comfort for all the year.
But one thing you don't know,
is when it's alone,
The rabbit, it moves, it starts to go!
It hops around the room awhile,
waiting until it can see your smile.
But when you return,
you won't see a thing.
For it will remain as it had seemed.
for imagination is a special part,
on the inside of every child's heart.
What a fun little poem! I enjoyed reading it. It reminded me a little of Velveteen Rabbit and Toy Story. I think the last line was one syllable too long, but that should be an easy fix. Another line that sounded a bit too long was "Waiting until it can see your smile". But that could sound just fine depending on how you read it. Other than that there's really nothing else to review about! Hoppy Christmas! Good job!
Heya, this is ElvenJedi, here for a review!
I loved the innocence in this poem, simplistic yet descriptive quality is has is fantastic! One thing I suggest is the rhyme scheme isn't very organized, some lines rhyme and others don't, and it kinda threw my off as I was reading it. There are also a few grammatical mistakes, but the other reviewer here already pointed those out.
Overall, amazing poem! The imagery was great! I look forward to reading more of your works in the future, keep writing!
Hello there magiccharm!
This is definitely a nice little positive poem.
And it rhymes yayy! Rhyme is always good for a positive poem. It makes it even better.
Anyway, I've noticed some grammatical errors and typos:
"But on thing you don't know" Seems like a typo, I'm guessing you meant one instead of on.
"The rabbit, it moves it starts to go." I' d put , after "moves" and ! instead of a dot.
120,208 Literary Works • 649,087 Reviews
Points: 97
Reviews: 103
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