Young Writers Society

Oooh I liked the metaphor you used of having depressive thoughts to the corona-virus quarantine behavior. I think you used the comparisons well, and it makes for a very effective message. While I don't always love abbreviations or text speak like "6" rather than "six" and "tbh" rather than "to be honest" in poetry, I think in this piece it absolutely fit the mood; and made the poem feel more like the speaker was close to giving up and just really trying to make it through, it also communicated a kind of casual mood -which contrasts a lot of corona-virus anxiety feelings that other people might be going through.

I think it would have been interesting to do a bit more contrasting how the speaker feels versus how people are feeling elsewhere or portrayed by the media, because they seem like they aren't actually anxious about the virus. Instead they're bored and sad. The poem is fairly short now and certainly has room to "dig deeper" into those feelings, but I think as-is gives a pretty clear message of how this speaker is finding difficulty in their mental state exasperated by the circumstances of the corona virus.

A few critiques I don't think the capitalization of "Don't" or "On" added, but felt a bit distracting. I didn't have any issue with the uneveness of the lines because of the poem's casual nature and brevity. The slight-rhyme actually helped with the flow too, so that was definitely a plus, because it felt like it naturally belonged in the piece rather than something that was forced.

Nice work, keep on writing!

best,

- alliyah

Hello madisonperkins59! I'm here to review this lovely short poem!

I really enjoyed the subject of this poem. It's relatable for a lot of people at the moment, and the language used is very accessible. That being said, there are a few parts where the language feels a bit too informal. I understand that this stylistic, and up to the writer's preference, so you are free to ignore my recommendations on wording.

I mean before Corona

Before Corona, I mean.

But tbh I never stopped wearing one

But to be honest,
I never stopped wearing one

I Don't mind it's just like another day

Mask On

It's okay I'm sitting in the corner anyway

It's okay I'm sitting
in the corner, anyway

The only thing that's different is being quarantined

The only thing that's different
is being quarantined

Sorry if you felt that I was distanced

Sorry if you felt
that I was distanced

Personally I really like this poem. Especially the part - Usually being told to get out the house Now I'm told to stay in. Its really nice and beautifully written. Totally relatable.

Hi, madisonperkins59! I'm Atlas, and I'm stopping by to give your poem ,Distanced, a quick review. I haven't done this in a while, so forgive me if I'm a little rusty. I also want to make it clear that any statements I make about your piece are strictly my own opinions, and I mean no offense by any of them (If I offend you somehow, though, please let me know!). Also, I am merely making suggestions, not telling you what to do, so feel free to take anything I say in this review with a grain of salt. Anyway, let's get to it!

Overall, I think you have a really good piece! The majority of us can definitely relate to this, which strengthens the emotional appeal of the poem itself. I also really like the almost conversational feel that it has when reading it. I think it adds to the poem's appeal. Awesome job!

As for grammar and syntax, there are some punctuation marks missing, a few capitalization errors, and a few spots where I didn't think the language was as precise as it could be, but nothing so major that it distracts from the readability of the poem. I'm going to enclose my edits, which will be in bold, in a spoiler below. (Again, these are all suggestions! Poems definitely don't follow all grammar/formatting rules, so I tried not to go overboard.)