WAIT!
Don't throw this away YET! If you revise it more than twelve times and people still don't like it, then you can throw it into the failure bin. But not yet.
This is what I think you might want to work on.
Rhyming: Personally, I don't think your rhymes are as off as the others say they are. Granted, yes, there are a few outrageous ones, but poetry is hard enough; I don't think they have to rhyme exactly. But some others might disagree.
Repetition: You do use "my" an awful lot. Every line in every stanza starts the same and ends with the same general sound. That might be one thing to change.
Length: Er, this, I think, is your biggest problem. It is long, though not very long. It begins to wear thin after the third stanza. Maybe cut one or two. Just a thought.
Overall: I liked it a lot. You don't really say the reason behind the pain, but I liked that. I think you ought to give it one or two more polishes, and see if the reviews turn out any better. Hang in there!
Points: 1122
Reviews: 150
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