Haven't said a word for three or four days.
Haven't acted normal in my usual ways.
I think I'm going crazy but that's alright.
I'd rather die than listen to their words that bite.
Been staring at this wall; never blinking, just glaring.
Haven't eaten anything but it's not the worst feeling.
I am alone and lost which is worse than death.
Full of doubts and sorrows, pain and regret.
I wish I was dead, to be cold and lifeless.
To be forgotten and be turned into complete nothingness.
Will someone remember that I have once existed?
Will someone care? Will tears be shed?
Yes, I am suicidal. I want to die right now.
How should I kill myself? I wonder how.
I need a knife to end all this suffering.
Or maybe a rope. Will that finish everything?
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,829 Reviews
Hello! I'm Suzette and I'm going to review your poem!
Okay, I really love the first stanza because it kind of tells you what this poem is all about and how it's going to go. You also catch the rhyming pattern in the first stanza and it doesn't seemed forced, which is very good!
One suggestion for the first line in the second stanza, I think it would flow better if you put an "I've" or "I have" in the beginning. Other than that, really good second stanza that continues the message of the first.
On the third stanza; last two lines, they don't seem to flow easily for me. I think if this was a poem I was speaking it would be difficult to get out.
I see no mistakes with the last stanza, and all in all this is an amazing poem and I'm definitely going to like it! You obviously have a wonderful talent for writing and it stands out.
Also, don't let anybody change the way that you write with their reviews, remember, they're just suggestions. It's your writing, you're in control!
Happy Writing
-Suzette
Thank you.
I do appreciate comments or reviews such as yours.
Other than a few grammatical errors that need to be revised, this is truly a fantastic piece.
I do suggest you go back and advise your grammar, like lack of commas and what not. And I sort of feel as if some of the rhymes are overly forced. (You only used them because they fit in with the rhyme scheme.)
Other than that, it's not a bad piece. I like the way you represented your suicidal thoughts. And I hope you know that in no way are you alone.
This generation seems to be more depressed than usual. So there's more people out there that are thinking the same way. I hope you know that you're not alone. (No matter how alone you may feel)
Good luck to you.
The first stanza set it all up very nicely. The rhyming was consistent, and the poem had a certain flow to it. Even though at some parts the rhyming lost it's effect, the next few lines made up for the break in it.
Overall this was very nicely done. I can relate to what this means. Would just like to say this somehow feels incomplete. Like it hasn't made the complete circle. A person who is suicidal argues with the notion that compels him/her to kill herself, and tries to reason with it. I would have loved to have seen that in this. The fight is not always as one-sided as it seems.
I understand. Thank you.
I'm like in tears right now. I understand the feeling
Reading the poem I could tell it was straight from the heart.
Feeling like that is one horrible feeling
But it eventually gets better
I don't know who you are but thanks for writiing this
People need to read poems like this
They need to see how just messing with someone all the tiime can lead them to suiciide
You are amazing
Stay Strong
God Bless
Thank you for being able to relate
I appreciate your review.