Published October 7, 2008
This is my first submission, so please tell me what you think. I'm really not a poet, so I appreciate any comments you have to help me improve. I wrote this poem a few months back, expressing my sorrow of quitting dance classes to make time for other activities in my life.
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The Song of My Heart
Listen to this song of mine,
The melody of my heart.
Music ever so divine,
Sung for the dance we call art.
I focus on the movements.
Feel the rhythm; feel the beat.
Exhaustion – it is intense.
Don’t give up; I trust my feet.
The music flows from within,
As energy masks fatigue,
Continuing with a grin,
Endurance causing intrigue.
Release all on the dance floor,
Emotions and shattered dreams,
All within my inner core,
When everything inside me screams.
If I could, I’d dance forever,
But my heart sings less and less.
Though I loved this endeavor
Time comes for me to repress.
My heart only keeps singing
For me to write – nothing more.
To stop all the stinging
From losing this, I’ve tried before.
I can’t take it all apart.
I can’t give it one last glance.
So a portion of my heart
Will always sing the song of dance.
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141,444 Literary Works • 674,455 Reviews
Thanks for the comments! I will keep them in mind when editing.
I liked most of the poem. I felt like the second last verse didn't really "fit" though:
I think it's the first two lines that I wasn't a fan of.
Otherwise, I liked the imagery that you portrayed.
Welcome to YWS!
OK, to tell the truth, I really liked this poem. It has a lot of imagery and emotions in it. The rhyme was just OK for me, but remember: not all poems have to rhyme. Just let it flow all the way...
But overall, it was a really good poem.
Keep writing!