"Lady Floure, my men have taken action, but what is it that you wanted all these dead rats and snakes for, my lady?" Questioned Tylore. His face expressionless, but Floure need not look at his face to tell he was confused, as he often was.
"Your men will put the rats and snakes into twelve baskets and place them by the beds of our enemies" a half muffled gasp of knowledge escaped from Tylore's wide set mouth, she continued "to warn them that we can get to them wile they sleep, and what better way then to use carnivorous rats and deadly snakes, now leave me, my head hurts. Every thing will be fine. We will be fine."
And with that Tylore left, the Floure's word meant that it was true, they were safe, but for how long, well nobody knew that, even Floure, who seemed to know all. For as much as Lady Floure seemed strict and very conservative, she had on many quests taken disguise of one of the other members of " The Reunited Group" and snuck of to do the mission. She also had a tattoo, well not a tattoo, but more of a burn mark (which is very very rare for a woman to have), it was her initials Fm and under neath was " The Reunited Group"
Tylore walked along the deserted corridor, thinking of all that was planned. He sulked his way along till he came to his work room to inform his page to get twelve of his men to set the warnings.
"Ayo, get the men from this list and tell them the instructions I have written below, Thank you," He said passionately "oh and son, no more staying out as late as you did last night, I don't care how pretty the girls are, you have early risings, you should know that by now," he said with a chortle.
"You take the fun out of every thing, and you enjoy it!" Ayo replied with a hint of a laugh.
"Toppled two statues, killed a traitor and now warning twelve royals wile they sleep, what a day, what a day," he said to him self. And with a massive head ache, he retreated to his sleeping chamber, ready to forget the day’s troubles.
Floure Miriviena sat at her desk contemplating whether or not to retire. It was far too early to leave the group, but she missed being out in the action desperately, she missed the adrenaline, the rush, the fight. She had never been the one to sit behind desks and watch, but when the time came for the group to be reformed since her father's death, she stepped up to the plate. Sure she had gotten them farther then any other leader, but she wanted to be out there, in the danger. But as much as she tried to convince her self that she could pull out, she knew she could not leave the men hanging with a new leader in the midst of achieving their goal. Yes, Tylore was a good leader, he was kind yet strong, he had the build of an ox and the determination not known to many. But he was not ready, they both knew it. She would have to sneak it once again, since her men would not let her out by herself, she would have to hide.
She walked down the west corridor, she would brief the men alone about tonight’s mission, then let them be on there way. She want along from room to room, finally ending up in the last room, Miss Parce, one of the few women in the elite group, she walked in.
"Miss Pearce, I am here to brief you on tonight’s mission," Flore circled the women, eying her closely to be sure she was fit " you will be bringing a um gift baskets to a certain lord for me." she came closer to get a better look.
"Floure, what Lord am I to bring this...gift...basket to?"
" Here, take a drink while I explain your mission to Lord Elron's mansion, " said Flour, and with that she handed her a glass of her specially made wine.
One hour later twelve purple coated people were walking the streets, climbing the fences, scaling the walls, and entering twelve assorted mansions.
In one dark brown mansion the belonged to Lord Elron, a women, maybe the age of twenty-five was setting down a basket, when all of a sudden, a man and a women came barging int ready to have a good time, but there was one problem, there was a women with a basket of dead rats and snakes, next to the bed, just standing there. The guards were called, and the women taken, she had the strangest marks burnt into he skin, The initials FM, and under that the words, "The reunited Group". And then she was taken.
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Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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Your dialogue's good, but your grammer and punctuation and all is shaky. I can't do a nitpick right now, but you should be able to see them yourself if you do a careful proof read.