Published February 15, 2026
The sun from the window hit my eyes fiercely, a sharp, white glare that made me squint and turn my head away. For a moment, I didn’t know where I was.
Reality settled in piece by piece.
I stretched under the covers, my muscles tight from the night. My toes curled against the thin sheet, and I rubbed the sleep from my eyes with the back of my hand. My hair was tangled, sticking to my cheek until I brushed it aside.
The room hummed softly — the lights, always the lights — but something else drifted in beneath the noise.
Voices.
Muffled at first, like they were underwater. Then clearer. A cough. A laugh. Someone calling out. Footsteps moving quickly past my door. The clatter of something metal hitting tile.
I froze.
I held my breath without meaning to, listening harder. The sounds didn’t stop.
There were other people here.
A lot of them.
I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, the floor cold against my feet. I stood slowly, every movement careful, and walked toward the door. My heartbeat thudded in my ears as I pressed my ear to it.
More voices. More footsteps. Someone crying. Someone arguing.
My chest tightened.
I wasn’t alone in this place.
Not even close.
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139,285 Literary Works • 672,524 Reviews
Heeeey back for one more quick review before I head off to bed. As you keep posting feel free to tag me when you do. Happy to follow along as these chapters are short and quick to read. Let's see what the hospital has in store this time around.
I like this sentence, but i would love to see it expanded upon immediately. What pieces settle back in? Her bed sheets? The empty walls?
So reality seems to be coming back full force. It would be nice if we start ro remember or learn more of this in the coming chapters, because assuming this is set on Earth, this girl must be in some sort of psych hospital or rehabilitation center, and surely she didn't block out everything that led to her being locked in this room.
I dont really understand why or how she didn't realize that there are others before, but hey, a good night's sleep can work miracles, and she was having a panic attack so I would almost dismiss it, but it seems harder to believe that there were no other nurses or patients on her entire walk to her room. Wouldn't Charlie have pointed out how they are locked up as well?
On that note, i find it very interesting that you say the main character has returned to reality piecing itself together, and then subsequently this is the first chapter that we dont see or hear Charlie. Coincidence? Possible, but I say not likely!
I guess we'll see in chapter 8
P.S. you always end on a banger note, but I would not mind a little bit longer chapters at all!
~Messy
Hi lovelydove!
I see that this is chapter seven of a story that you're writing-- so apologies if I lack some context! However, I will do my best to give this review based on what I can see!
Your writing in itself is quite lovely! Your tone and use of words really puts me in the perspective that this is taking place in more of a sterilized environment, like a hospital or something adjacent.
When I was child, I was very sickly and ended up in the hospital quite often, so I feel for this in a way! Especially when you mention things such as:
"The room hummed softly — the lights, always the lights — but something else drifted in beneath the noise."
Bright, sterilized white room with blinding lights that hum constantly. That quickly gave it away.
"Voices.
Muffled at first, like they were underwater. Then clearer. A cough. A laugh. Someone calling out. Footsteps moving quickly past my door. The clatter of something metal hitting tile.
I froze.
I held my breath without meaning to, listening harder. The sounds didn’t stop.
There were other people here."
The way you describe the voices of others outside of the room makes me feel as if they are not particularly familiar, which also gives me that idea of your intended setting. This makes me feel like these are patients, visitors, doctors with equipment, etc.
Really, though, this is lovely. I think would work far better as a series of poems rather than a narrative/novel type of thing that I believe you seem to be going for. The length of chapters are subjective to the author, however I would love for you to write more detail and description. Instead of having me solve the mystery of your words, really find a way to ease me into your shoes, and put me in that perspective. This is already incredibly deep and moving, but if you gave me that extra PUSH, it could be much more impactful!
Like my greatest celebrity crush, Billy Idol, famously says; I want MORE MORE MORE!!
Happy Valentines day! Sending well wishes your way!
- Lizzy
thank you for your review!