z

Young Writers Society



Fire Tears

by love-death-poems


"I hate you" he said to me,
my eyes flood with tears 'till I can't see.
"I never want to see you again" his voice was flat,
I don't talk afraid my voice would crack.
"Don't talk to me anymore" with pain in his voice,
The bell rings and the hall is filled with noise.
He walks away and I try to grab his hand,
He rushed away and I cried where I stand.
The hall emptied and all was silent,
I wanted to move but my feet felt like they were stuck in cement.
His voice was coming closer to me,
there was another voice and I thought 'Who could it be?'.
Cody walked around the corner with a guy,
He stopped dead in his tracks and I started to cry.
"Kay don't go" he begged me,
I looked away and started to flee.
He chased after me determined to catch up,
I thought he was gone, then I heard his voice calling me and jumped.
My house was just down the street,
I ran home, locked the door, and took a seat.
He knocked on my door but I just cried,
He came to my window , opened it, and all I said was "Why?"
His face was blank and he had no reply,
I thought "Why oh why can't I die".
I ran to my room and locked the door,
I started to cut, he kept knocking, and I cut more.
"Leave me alone" I screamed nice and loud,
I was about to die and I was proud.
He smashed my door down and I slit my throat,
He rushed to me as my blood made me choke.
"Please don't die" he said and cried,
I couldn't help it and in my head I sighed.
I thought 'I love you',
Cody looked a tme and said "I'll miss you".
Everything went black and my heart stopped,
he saw the knife and killed himself and dropped.
I woke up in a room bright and white,
Someone was holding my hand but there face out of sight.
Cody and I came to together,
A few days latter everything was better.
We fell in love with eachother,
Old we were and we died holding one another.


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Sun Dec 27, 2009 7:11 pm



I forgot to mention at the begining of the poem that this was about my life. Everything happened up until him killing himself. Sad I know, but you kind of had to have been there. I tried to describe it as best as I could.
See there is this guy I grew up with and we had been crushing on eachother for like ever. He was even my first kiss. So when his friends got judgmental of me for being overweight they made him do that. I was heartbroken. And the whole bf thing. I just got out of a horrible relationship and Cody was there to help me and then he hurt me. I felt the urge to write this because I have had my heart broken 4 months in a row so I'm writing poems orstories about it. Though usually they are dark and don't end well.




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23 Reviews


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Sun Dec 27, 2009 12:02 am
KatherineF92 wrote a review...



you lost me after her bf broke up with her. was her bf cody? and if so, why did he break up with her and then chase her home? and then try to kill himself, etc. i was very confused. though i'm certain with some rephrasing this poem could be intense, maybe try writing it first in free verse, just so you can get your thoughts aligned, then go back to it and make it rhyme and stuff :)




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113 Reviews


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Sat Dec 26, 2009 12:25 pm
Mo. wrote a review...



This has a nice theme to it.

It changes tenses and scences a bit, which confuses the reader, and there are afew gramatical errors.

From what I can gather, it doesn't make all that much sense, but with a bit of work, this could be really very nice.

:D

Good work! and keep writing!

~Mo.





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