E - Everyone

Lool the Backpack

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There once was a backpack named Lool

She was owned by a super huge fool

Since he had no money

and was such a dummy

He trashed her at the end of school.

Comments & reviews · 7
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StupidSoup
Comment
User avatar
Harker
Review
Harker wrote a review · Fri Sep 12, 2014 6:57 pm

Um... well, this is kind of a weird thing for me to review (because I don't review poetry well), but here's a SHORT review:

1. Maybe a period at the end? I don't know if someone's mentioned this.
2. It's kind of awkward because you capitalize 'She' but don't capitalize 'and'. Maybe do,

"There was once a backpack named Lool,
She was owned by a super huge fool.
Since he had no money,
and was such a dummy,
he trashed her at the end of school."

I don't know, I'm no poetry expert! :P

Anyway, really funny poem. :D

Thank you! I will change it as soon as I can.

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miley
Comment

hey,
i'm glad i read your poem! it did really bring a smile on face and threw all my sadness that i had.

good job! keep it up!

hope to see more soon.

just to end -

keep dreaming! keep writing!

I'm glad it helped! Isn't that what writing is about? Bringing joy to people? In some cases at least. Anyway, I'm glad it brought a smile to your face and your comment did the same to me. :)

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methrirr123
Comment

YEAH LIMERICKS

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Corncob
Comment

YAY ITS FEATURED!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Corncob
Review
Corncob wrote a review · Wed Sep 10, 2014 5:26 pm

Heyyyyy bro!!!! I'm so glad you joined!!
Mmk, so can't exactly review my own piece (that I collaborated with you) but I have a couple nitpicks to the way you posted it XD.
1) I think there should be a period at the end, just to give it a sense of finality.
2) The capitalization is kind of irregular

ANYWAYSSSSS, WELCOME TO DEE SIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

That was really good

I think you are complimenting me, but you might be being sarcastic XP



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