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you were easy to listen to and hard to hear

by lliyah

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1164 Reviews

Points: 133483
Reviews: 1164

Stickied -- Mon Jan 30, 2023 5:42 pm
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lliyah says...

Hello! This poem is a re-write from NaPo and is inspired by a poetry style I saw that Anthony Cody uses in his poetry book "borderland apocrypha" where you write the poem in progressive columns rather than simply left-to-right. I love the style and experience of reading poems like that, but this is my first attempt at it. This poem is part of a series that I may also get around to posting, but may do so through the "Writers Corner" so that you can see all the poems at once for the full effect.

Thank you for reading! And If you feel like answering questions:

1) What did you interpret the narrative / theme of the poem to be?

2) How did the formatting effect your reading?

3) Were there any portions you had a hard time understanding?

4) Any images/phrases that stood out to you?

5) Anything else you want to share about your reading!

(also the "Intertwined" in column 3 is supposed to be lowercased, but it looks like it got auto-capitalized, so just pretend it's lowercased please).

Thanks for reading!

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20 Reviews

Points: 338
Reviews: 20

Sat Feb 04, 2023 6:32 am
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RavenNaal wrote a review...

This was super creative! I loved it! I have never seen a poem written in this format, but its makes sense and is super effective. At first it is a little hard to know where to start reading, but after a little looking its clear where to start and where to end. The mix of different spacing makes it a bit harder to understand, with multiple spaces, then to one, then to zig zags and then to none. But that is really the only issue. The poem itself is great and shows a lot of emotion. Very well wrote, great job!

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84 Reviews

Points: 41
Reviews: 84

Thu Feb 02, 2023 12:47 am
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foxmaster wrote a review...

This was so original!!! I loved it so much! I am usually not one for poetry but this is clearly a classic spin on it.
"(you) are not welcome here"
well, that's really something!
"Sounds so conclusive, doesn't it?"
yes it does!
That is all for now... this was really great

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9 Reviews

Points: 51
Reviews: 9

Wed Feb 01, 2023 9:29 pm
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Jasperbiscuitt wrote a review...

I love this so much!! It is really unique and I love the educational but lingering feeling that this invokes.
My only suggestion would be to maybe space the segments a little differently or add a dashed line between them so it's hard to run them together. Keep writing, though, because you are doing a fantastic job! And you're already very original. Congratulations!

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344 Reviews

Points: 1260
Reviews: 344

Tue Jan 31, 2023 8:27 pm
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LadySpark says...

this is stunning.

lliyah says...

<3 <3 <3 Thank you!

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Points: 104
Reviews: 2

Tue Jan 31, 2023 3:15 pm
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mads08 says...

This is really good. I especially like where it says "I want to give you back some of these pieces of sea glass" where you used the words to make a little curve. It's really unique and i like it a lot.

lliyah says...

Thank you! I appreciate the comment :)

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1729 Reviews

Points: 92075
Reviews: 1729

Mon Jan 30, 2023 9:24 pm
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BluesClues says...

isn't / there /something / terrible / about how / if you find / the edge of / the world / the only way / to know / you're there is / to fall


this feels like / a paper crane / that has / been folded / inside out

bye I absolutely adore these lines

lliyah says...

THANK YOU! I love those two sections too! <3

I am deeply disturbed by your ability to meow.
— Carina