Self Esteem. Soooo high school isn't working out for you? This is a list I conjured up.
Stop whining and complaining. Things will go your way if you let them fall into place. Go with the flow. Your life doesn’t have to be full of the stereotypical high school student (drugs, sex, etc.) don’t find parties… parties will find you in time. Everything will happen, just be patient.
Be social. The only way to put yourself out there is to let yourself be known. Have a good time with the friends you have. Don’t be too dramatic when things don’t go your way. Everything eventually blows over anyway. Make new friends (if possible) to bring new groups to you. Your personality will shine to those who appreciate it.
Being popular is overrated. You don’t have to be the “who’s who” everyone is talking about. Do you really want rumors going around about you that probably aren’t true? People will judge and not want to talk about you.(Jessica Schwartz HELLO!) nobody will want to talk to you unless they know the real you, because that’s what you want people to talk about, not the rumor you.
Don’t care! Do you really care what people think? The only reason you would care is if you were trying to prove yourself to somebody. You shouldn’t have to change to impress people if its not the real you. Don’t give a shit about your social status. People can think whatever they want but you know the real you.
I know this is easier said than done, but please take my advice:)
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
On the title: I think there should be a comma after "Popularity".
I actually agree with Stela's opinion about the "Soooo". I'm all for creative license, and I frequently draw my words out when I'm conversing with someone online, but it just seems out of place here. It's fun to have the words made longer, but I think one "o" is enough.
Um.... I think you meant to put "things" after "student". It needs it. It really, really needs it.
This should be its own sentence--capitalize "don't".
....isn't putting yourself out there, the same as letting yourself be known? I think this should be reworded, the phrasing just strikes me as awkward.
Um.... I don't understand this, either. There should at least be a comma between "Schwartz" and "HELLO!"
Again, I would make this its own sentence. Also, the phrasing is somewhat awkward.
Would/is clash with each other, because they're in different tenses. Try would/would be, and I think you will be good.
I don't remember the rating, but the one cussword should be taken into account.
On the whole, this is great advice! You have a good head on your shoulders. Be proud of yourself! This piece just needs a little bit of cleaning up. I know you can do it! And keep writing. The only way to get better is to practice! (Man, I'm using a lot of exclamation points.
Thank you for posting this! I enjoyed reading it.
Mostly good advice, this. Of course you're right - all easier said than done. But you might also want to point out pitfalls of not taking your advice - for example, give people real reasons to not want to be popular. (Like the fact that popular people - at least amongst girls - generally find friends that are either "yes men" or that are there to be made fun of, rather than to have for real friends.) Also, you may want to address the ACADEMIC part of high school...
As far as writing, the main thing is that you need to capitalize after parenthesis, if you're starting a new sentence after them (which you seemed to be doing most of the time). There was also one typo where you said "its" when you meant "it's." "Its" is possessive, "it's" is "it is."
Hey! I'm Stela, and I'll be reviewing for you today.
First off:
Get rid of all the extra o's. It looks unproffesional and messy.
The word student makes no sense to me, use the word experience instead. Or substitue it with a similar word.
Why is there a period and THEN paranthesis. You should place the period after the parenthesis. Also, I can't tell if that was the title of an article, or if you meant to point out an example, in which case 'Jessica Schwartz, hello?' would be more appropriate in my opinion.
it's. Use an apostrophe.
Well, that seems to be it. It's a good idea, though in my opinion it should be developed slightly more. I think maybe even putting some of your own personal experiences in ocasionally wuld be a good idea.
Oh, and the more appropriate section for this would be 'Non Fiction'.
That's all from me! Good luck