Published February 5, 2010
She is all I ever wanted to protect
I've been hearing these taglines a few times
"I feel like I just battled Goliath."
"This must be what David had felt."
Listening to these make me feel like;
I want to slay all her dragons,
kill all her monsters,
cease all her nightmares,
crush all the skeletons in her closet,
I wish to be the one to do these herculean tasks.
Gabriel starting to freak me out
I'm a hopeless romantic, yet never
Would I fit into the cast "damsel in distress"
Just because my 'distress' goes way deeper than those on fairy tales' pages
Don't be my Knight in shining armor, Gabriel, please don't
Just because there's no dragons, no scarecrows, and monsters.
P/s: i'm a bit unsure about the title...does it sound good??
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,408 Literary Works • 674,390 Reviews
Hey you! Rather unique poetry, quite dramatic I must say
!!!
I agree with you about what you said about your Title maybe something like 'Addicted to her' or 'Intoxicated' will have captured what you were saying better but still, Its a really good name(caught my eye!)
The main problem I'll say your poetry has is really refinement but I'm sure practise will erase that soon enough.
Because I'm not exactly a pro at poetry I can't really say much but it really was a fun read.
Happy Writing!
the reason it's confusing a bit is because somehow i didnt split it into 2 paragraphs. the full version is longer...
thanks...
i just put out the stanzas that link to each other...
about punctuation...yeah, i get that a lot.
i'm usually more concern on the overall content.
try to guess how many personas speak?
I really enjoyed reading your poem! Good use of allusions and parallel structure.
Needs some improvement in punctuation but I think you know that. The title is interesting but after reading the poem a few times I fail to make a connection.