Clearing Clouds-pt. 1

“She says – how much longer, C?  Five minutes.  ….Well it didn’t help that we got lost.  Yeah, no, we know where we’re going now.  K, see ya.  Bye.”

“Let’s not mention that you’re the one who got us lost, hm?”  Celia smiles over at me.

I punch her arm.  “I brought cookies, I get a free pass!”

“Not since you ate half of them,” she laughs.  A motorcycle passes us.  I watch it go down the expressway.  And go.  And go…

“Well?” 

I shake myself back to the present.  “I…think this is the turn.” Celia turns sharply.  I pretend to knock my head against the window.  It makes her laugh.  We pull up, and she slams on the breaks right in front of the house, hitting the curb with her front tire. 

“Now listen, C, I know you hate your car…” 

Celia shoves my shoulder and grabs the half empty box of cookies.  I sit there for a second, gathering myself.  C taps on the window.  “Hey, Map!  You coming?” 

I grin, climbing out of the car.  “I’m the map, I’m the map-“ my serenade is cut short by a suffocating, vanilla-scented hug.  “ROSIE!!!!!!   Omigosh-I-haven’t-seen-you-in-FOREVER-why-didn’t-you-tell-me-you-were-coming?!?”  Emmy is one of the loudest people I know.  A lot of our friends find her annoying, but she's got this non-stop energy that I find highly contagious.  She gabs on about Grace’s haircut and Sean getting his license and wrecking his car and did you hear about Laura’s new boyfriend?, and I’m dragged with alarming speed through the yard and into the house. 

There’s this huge misconception that all teenage parties are rowdy, raucous, dance-on-the-table insane.  And while I’m not saying that our parties aren’t a little on the crazy side, they never get to that point.  The only time the cops have ever broken one up was when we set off Chris’ car alarm and he couldn’t find his keys.  The neighbors weren’t too happy about that, and neither was he after being told his keys had been flushed down the toilet.  He was the only one of us with a car at that point, and didn't talk to any of us for a week afterward. 

But despite the semi-tameness of our Friday nights, I can’t get over the claustrophobic feeling I get walking in.  I’ve never been to the Finnegan’s before; they’re just those friends of friends that you never really run into.  I’ve talked to Frank once before, but never met Will or Moira.  The living room’s crowded and noisy when I’m first dragged in, with kids milling around from group to group, telling stories and laughing loudly.  A bunch of the guys are sprawled on the couch playing Mario Cart, yelling at the girls on the coffee table to stop painting their nails and MOVE!, and Aiden’s standing over Meg with his pizza, dripping grease on her while her boyfriend yells at him, all while I’m almost bowled over by Mark as he chases after someone with a piece of cake. 

Like I said, only semi-tame.

Someone grabs me from behind and spins me around.  “Hey, Rosie,” says Allie with a smile. 

“Oh, hey!  What’s going on?”

“Well, I finished reading Pride and Prejudice, so now I’m watching the BBC version.”

“With Colin Firth?!?”

“Isn’t he just the perfect Mr. Darcy?” 

We amble (or rather, fight) our way into the kitchen and grab some soda.  Celia’s off talking with Sam about starting college this coming fall, and the worried looks on both of their faces make me glad I’m only a junior. 

"So how's being a sophmore, Al?"

"Good!  I finally joined the chior at my school, and I like it a lot."

"That's awesome!"

"Yeah, we're going to a competition in Disney World in June; I'm really excited." 

"You look it!"  She's bouncing from foot to foot, her smile from ear to ear.

"We had to audition to go too, because it would cost too much for the whole chior to go."

"You auditioned?  Way to go, Allie!"

She blushes.  "Thanks.  So what's going on with you, Rosie?"

"Oh, nothing much.  My mom and I are looking for a new place right now."

"What happened with your apartment?  You guys have been renting there a while."

I look for a way out of answering.  "Hey, check out Gabbie's shoes!  I've got to go ask her where she got them."

Allie looks at me out of the corner of my eye.  As Gabbie's wearing flip flops, I guess I can understand why she's suspicious.  But she lets me go anyway.  I start to head over, planning to talk to Gab about the perks of flip flops. 

“Rosie, right?”

I turn to see a short, petite woman with huge glasses and a mass of close cropped, curly gray hair. 

“Oh, yeah!”

“I’m Mrs. Finnegan,” she says.  Her voice is quiet and has the hint of a southern drawl.  “I’m glad that you and Celia could make it!”

I laugh.  “Oh, did you hear about our little mishap?  I read the map upside-down and got us stuck on an exit ramp.” 

She smiles.  “Well I’m very glad that you made it here in one piece.” 

“Oh, well thanks for having us!” 

“Anytime, anytime… BOYS!  STOP TORMENTING THAT POOR CAT!”

Andrew and Caleb, Allie's older brothers, had found some straws and were shooting streams of Mountain Dew up at an angry ball of fur at the top of the cabinet.  I smirked and turned to grab a slice of pizza. 

“Rosie!  Hey, whaddup?”

“Hi, Tony,” I say wearily.  I am so not in the mood for talking with him.   

“You’ll never believe what I just did today.  So you know how it’s summer?” 

“No, I really had no idea.”

He goes on as if I hadn’t spoken.  “Well I was supposed to go to summer school today, because I failed Chemistry, right?  But after JP dropped me off I walked over to the water park at the beach and a few of my buds and I went in the wave pool and freaked out the lifeguard.”

“Well, that was….really…nice.” 

“Yeah, and you should’ve seen the look on his face!  He was, like, so panicked, it just made him look more ugly.” 

Another kid I don’t know comes up behind him.  “Yeah, I would’ve hated to be him.  Especially with that face.  I don’t know how he even got the job, who would even hire him?”

Tony laughs.  “Yeah, did you see all that acne?  I’ll bet his family doesn't even talk to him.”

I try to swallow.

“If I was that ugly, I sure would.”

“If I looked half as bad as that guy does, I’d just go home and shoot myself.”

 I’m shaking.  I can hear the breath in my ears.  Ragged.  Gasping.  I have to get to the bathroom, NOW.  I blindly drop my soda on the table, and it falls, spilling all over the linoleum tiles.  I hear Tony yelling at me from behind.  I’m shoving through groups of people, light-headed, trying to breathe…I find a door, see tiles on the floor, and crash through it.  I fall to the floor and kick the door shut.  I can feel the shaking getting worse, rattling every bone, my body starts to convulse, and I tear at my hair trying to get some control….The bathroom disappears and I'm back at the apartement-there's blood on the floor, dark, sticky blood- I follow it into the kitchen-

And then I’m screaming. 

Someone’s shouting outside, the doorknob’s rattling, the door shaking.  I drag myself into the corner, wedging myself between the toilet and the bathtub.  I’m still quaking, biting my fist and clutching wads of matted hair between my fingers.  I try to make myself small and tiny.  The door bangs open and a figure bashes into the small space.  Hands reach over to pull me out.  “no-NO!”  I scream. 

“Come on, come on, it’s okay,” a voice says.   

“NO! no…… I want Uncle Matty…..I want Uncle Matt….”  I start to sob.   The hands gently un-wedge me, pulling me close.  I start to fight, then deflate.  My energy’s gone.  The big arms pick me up, and I feel very small, like I’m three years old again. 

“Frank, go get mom!  Now!” 

I feel myself being carried out of the bathroom and into the kitchen.  Everyone’s scurrying out and into the living room.  I bury my face into the big shoulder, hiding. 

I hear Mrs. Finnegan talking in a low voice.  “Yes…No, take her right now.  I’ll call her mom.”

 Then I’m being carried outside and lowered carefully into the back seat of a car.  I curl up into myself.  Someone puts a blanket over me.  It smells like old books.  The car shifts and two people get in the front.  The car starts up, and the person in the passenger seat twists around and opens his mouth to say something to me-

And then I black out.