The lights pulse in purples and blues
As the speakers shake with sound
And bodies mingle " moving to the rhythm
Of their stories " feet no longer on the ground
With their hands in the air and worries lifted,
They dance away the final hours of night
Glass shards scatter across the floor,
A reminder of the ongoing fight
At last, their souls flutter into the dark
Carried into the wind with broken wings
Leaving nothing behind but the shattered dreams
Of those who once were the city’s kings
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Hello there. I am here for the review. So lets straight away get down to the review.
It was a good piece but it could use some editing. I could not understand some parts but i think its just because i am a bit sleepy. xD But all in all it was a nice poem. And yes, one more thing. You need not CAPITALIZE all the first words of a line and also keep the punctuations in mind.
Keep writing.
This was pretty great. Your last lines were strong and stuck in just the right way. Good closing lines always seem to do the job in carrying the direction of your poem. So for this I appreciate your work.
But there is some need for improvement. Some of this was a tad choppy sounding. Not entirely, but something was a tad off with the flow. Maybe you could try rereading and see where the problem is? You can do it. 
Good luck!
Hi!
Sorry to nag, but I think it might have been a good idea to do a review first before you post your work!
Anyways, I really loved the creative ideas, and it actually flowed really well.
I especially loved the description here! It really lets the reader see!
I don't really understand why you put parentheses here:
It doesn't make sense to me, at least. Although it was beautiful, I didn't understand the last stanza or what happened in the second one either. There is no explanation. Perhaps that was on purpose, but I'm not sure.
Otherwise, I enjoyed it and you should keep writing poetry (and do a couple reviews too!)
-Lili
I really enjoyed this. It was short, yes, but it was still beautiful. Keep up the good work. ^^