Published December 21, 2007
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141,329 Literary Works • 674,350 Reviews
I love your poem! there are a few puncuation, capitalization, and spelling errors, but the message is really deep and sweet. keep posting, i'd love to read more!
jenni321
Okay! Good job, the rhymes were awesome.
Now I must point out some things that need to be fixed:
You need to capitalize! And you need to use puncuation!
I think 'but' is supposed to be 'buy'
The last stanza sounded a little choppy to me, but that's just my opinion.
(Not trying to be harsh. Overall, good job.