Interesting... Here's my critique :
Chapter one
~Blood Lies~
Anaya sat on the man, the corpse that once had been a live, until she ripped her teeth into his throat, tearing his flesh to threads. Her body could still feel the memory his body writhing underneath her, trying its hardest to get away from her thrashing nails and sharp, inhuman teeth. He hadn’t been so lucky. His lifeless corpse was covered in blood, as was her own trembling body. This was the third time that her instincts had taken over her, urging to drink from the veins of the humans.
She sat on the man’s stomach, not knowing what to do, if there was anything she could do. It was night time, well past midnight, and her mother was probably fast asleep in bed. She shivered from the cold autumn breeze, leaves catching in her hair. Her clothes were blood soaked, and she didn’t think it would be safe to walk home like she was. She considered just taking everything off and walking home like that, but she was worried of being seen naked. She wondered what one would be safer.
She sighed heavily, and got up from the man, deciding it would be safer to be seen in the nude, rather than covered in blood and looking like the murderer she was. She stripped down, the blood soaking all the way through to her last layer of clothing. She cleaned off her face with a dry area of her shirt and shivered as her flesh began to crawl from the coolness of the night air. She wrapped her arms around herself as her flesh puckered and bumped. It was a fifteen minute walk to her house, and she knew it would be a very long, cold, lonely walk.
* * * *
“I can’t believe how many murders we’ve had here within the past two months!” Janet beamed as she sat down at the lunch table, her enthusiasm seeming misplaced in the this tragedy.
The word 'the' can be omitted.
Anaya looked up from her lunch, seeming less than interested in the topic that her friend brought up. “I heard they were all just placed as an animal attack.” Ana said, taking a delicate sip from her chicken soup. “No human could possibly rip through a throat like that.”
Janet pouted. “Well, thanks for ruining that moment.” She sighed heavily and looked down at her own bowl of soup and wrinkled her nose at it.
“But they’re still looking for the animal that could have possibly attacked those three people.” Rina contributed to the conversation. “Look around, we live in a hick town. What animal could have possibly done all that? A deer?” She snorted.
Ana giggled. “Of course, you know those things are just evil and viscous enough to do such a thing as rip the throat of a human out.”
I think that you should re-word the last sentence.
Janet spit out her soup, a small chunk of chicken rolling across the table. “I heard that it looked as if something drank the blood, too! There were chunks of the people spit out all over the place, but the blood was cleaned right off of them!”
Rina curled her lip in disgust. “Jan, that was so attractive, why not try spitting your food out all over the table around the guys and then talking about human flesh that was feasted on? I’m sure you’ll get a guy that way.”
Janet blushed and smiled weakly. “I’m sorry Rina, should I change the subject?”
“Okay…I’m not hungry anymore. Janet ruined my appetite.”
Put a space (or two) between the standing periods and the word 'I'm'.
Ana stared at the two as they sat there and talked. She dived into her food, not feeling the least bit queasy from the topic at hand. She watched Rina push her tray aside, as Janet continued on with the facts that she heard over the news about the killings. She began blocking out her friends, trying to find the taste of her soup, but, like always, tasted nothing at all. Her belly was filling with the soup, but her tongue was left unsatisfied. Her mouth felt thick from the bloodless chicken, and longed for the metalicness of the thick, red liquid. Her tongue tended to linger on the metal spoon, that taste lingering with the salt of the broth making her long even more for the liquid life force.
* * * *
Ana went straight home after school. Her need for blood had been getting to her since lunch, and she knew she needed to use one of her mother’s blood slaves to get rid of the urge before she killed another human.
She opened the door to the tiny apartment, and was surprised to see her mother waiting for her on the couch, her face still looking so young. Anaya smiled at her, but Lillia didn’t offer any smile in return. Instead, she just looked away, her eyes cast to the floor.
“Lilly, what’s wrong?” She asked her mother, dropping her school bag and closing the door behind her. “Did something happen?”
Lillia chewed on her bottom lip and looked up at her daughter. “Yes, you are 16 now, love.” She said and rose to her feet and stood in front of her daughter, holding Ana’s face in her hands.
“I know that.” Ana said warily, not knowing where Lilly was going with this statement.
“You are old enough now, Ana. I’ve taught you everything I could.” Her eyes brimmed with tears and she took in a deep, struggling breath. “My mother left me when I was 16, her mother did the same to her.”
Ana stared down at the woman who had raised her since birth. “Mother…” Her voice trailed off. She rarely ever called Lilly her mother, being taught to call her by her name. Now she knew why. Her mother just didn’t want to get too attached to her.
“Ssh,” Lilly said. “This is just how it must be. I can’t stay here for much longer, and you shouldn’t either.” She looked away. “I never wanted a child.” She said sadly. “Nor did my mother, and if I had to have a child, I wanted a boy.” She looked back at Ana and let go of her, stepping back. “I tried to raise you as well as I could. You know how to mark a human, and you know how to fend for yourself. You are not to go near anymore of my men. If you do, then I’ll kill you.” She told her with a stern voice. “I’ll leave you with the words of my mother. Beware of the males, and beware of who you are. If you get caught, not even the fires of hell will save you.”
She vanished then, and Anaya was left alone in the empty apartment. Left to fend for herself with nothing but the craving for blood. Her mother had taught her how to teleport, to move from place to place to get to different blood slaves. Lilly taught her how to temp, and how to get just the right amount of blood, never over or under drinking. Ana knew how to make her mark, but had never done it before, and she knew how to find other vampires marks, so she could stay clear of them.
Anaya didn’t have an army of slaves to drink from. She had always had help from her mother, but now she had to do everything on her own. She had to leave the town, leave everything behind, and start her own life. She was a young vampire, the worst kind, and she didn’t know what to do.
Tears brimmed her pale green eyes and she wiped them away, refusing to cry. She hated humans. Hated them because they got to choose whether to have kids. She hated them because they had parents that truly cared. She hated them…because they lived a life of lies. Ana wanted a life of lies, but she could never escape the truth. She could run all she liked, but the truth was always there in the mirror, and the mirror never lies.
Put a space (or two) between the standing periods and the word 'because'.
Overall, wonderful beginning! I'd love to hear more. I didn't think I'd like something like this. I'm not at all into vampires. But, what can I say? This one caught my eye. 
Please continue this, I want to critique this some more.
Points: 1210
Reviews: 99
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