A Hidden Sanctuary Ch 2 Pt 2

Jake

I watched as my hands shook rapidly. I clenched my fists together, trying to keep my muscles from convulsing once more. Deep breaths prevented me from going over the edge and I sat heavily on the floor of the tiny white room, pressing my back up against the wall.

There came a knocking at the door and looked towards it as the door opened, my maid, Kiki, walking in. She had a bright smile on her face, bit it faded as her dark brown eyes watched me breathing heavily against the wall.

“Master Jake?” She hurried over to me, pressing a hand against my forehead. “You’re burning up, what’s the matter?”

I felt the blood pumping through my veins, racing through my body with every rigid breath. I smiled weakly at her and took her hand away and pressed it to my still beating heart.

“I’m alright, no worries.”

She shook her head, her eyes taken over by worry. She pressed both her hands against the side of my face and huddled close to me, her forehead touching my own. “Master Jake, don’t tell me not to worry, please.”

I moved away to try to keep her from healing me, but she just followed my body to the floor, resting herself on top of me, and my body began to tingle as she connected our souls together. She gasped as she felt the pain that I buried deep inside of me, and I wrapped my arms around her to comfort her from the feeling of loss and loneliness. I could feel her senses flowing through my body, entering into every fiber of my being, slowly beginning to mend my illness that had taken over me last night.

“Kiki, stop.” I whispered, though I couldn’t tell if the words were truly said, or just sent through our connected minds.

I gently started taking her consciousness out of me, and when she finally noticed me doing so, she pushed to stay.

“Kiki, stop this. You’re just going to tire yourself out and not solve anything in the long run.” I told her, trying to get her to stop, still pushing her out.

“No, it doesn’t matter. I am your maid, I am the one who gives her life for you. My life is nothing compared to yours. You will be my master one day, and I must protect you.”

I struggled against her, suddenly getting a burst of energy and her consciousness was ripped from mine, leaving us both panting heavily on the floor. I looked up at her glistening face, her eyes half shut, and her struggling to keep them open. I worked to sit up, Kiki still leaning on me, and I struggled to pull her up with my weak arms.

“Kiki, are you alright?” I asked her and she nodded, shutting her eyes and breathing heavily against my chest.

What was that sudden burst of power? Was my binding finally removed? If so, then it was a terrible time to get rid of it. I could’ve killed us both with that surge of energy.

I sighed with relief, knowing she was alright and I just leaned against the wall, closing my eyes so I could let my body rest.

~ ~ ~ ~

I'm completely messed up. Scattered around me are various drugs, all I had smoked, ejected, and sniffed. Empty bottles of alcohol lay with them, all dancing on the floor together.

I am almost unconscious, but I reach for a sharp knife that was hidden behind a door. My wrist is soon in view of my eyes and I press the blade against my flesh. Red liquid flows from the open wound and slowly my consciousness fades away...

~ ~ ~ ~

I awoke with a start, Kiki’s body still resting on me. I looked around the room, but couldn’t figure out how long I had been out for. I looked back down at Kiki, and admired her face. Her features are rounded nicely, her skin tone tanned at birth, once contrasting with the paleness of her golden hair, until she dyed it to erase one of the marks of who she really was: a full blooded witch.

I brushed her dyed black hair out of her face, my fingers tingling where they touched her soft, warm flesh. She sighed as she slept, and I felt her chest rise and fall against me. I could feel the sharp pinpricks as my leg fell asleep underneath me, but I ignored it, not wanting to wake her from her beautiful slumber.

I stared down at her, remembering the first day we met. I was five, and had moved to New York just a year prior to meeting her. I was still distressed from the move, since I was separated from my mother at the same time, since she decided to move to Italy with my brother, Ikan Ordell.

I’ve always known that I would get a maid someday. A woman to boss around, and take care of me until I got married. Even though I knew of this, I was upset when I was called from my room to meet this young girl. A girl three years older than me. A girl that wouldn’t dare meet my eyes, aware of my ranking at headquarters, even though I was but a young child.

“Jake, this is your new maid.” My father had told me. “Her name is Kiki, and she’s being trained in with Isabella.”

I remember examining Kiki and then shaking my head and turning away. “No. She’s too ugly to be my maid. I don’t want her. Send her back.”

That’s when she finally looked at me, and actually took hold of my arm and began begging me to not send her back. She pleaded, even went down on her knees, tears escaping and running down her face.

The fear in her eyes made me want to smack the shit out of her. So I hit her and told her that she was pathetic. I was a terrible little boy, and my dad only winced and watched as I would go on little rampages, taking my rage out on Kiki and my older maid, Isabella.

Things are completely different now, and I knew this as I stared down at her. I stopped taking my rage out on women when I turned 12 and Kiki noticed my change in attitude, but still kept her distance.

Kiki stirred in my lap, and her eyes fluttered open for an instant, but then shut once more.

The door to my room opened and I looked towards it, Hiro entering

the room with a smile stretching across his face.

“Well now, don’t you two look quite comfortable together?”

I gave him an even stare, and glanced at Kiki for just a second. “Are you here for something, or to just pester me more?”

He shut the door behind him and walked over to me. “Tsk, tsk, you’re quite the feisty one today, now then, aren’t you?”

“What did you do now?” I asked and he only smiled more.

“Did you not want the binding to be loosened?”

My mouth went dry and my heart beat rapidly in my chest. I wasn’t sure if I was excited or scared to have the unmanageable power flowing through my body once more.

“Have you forgotten the joy of bending people to your will?” He knelt down before me and stroked a finger underneath my chin. “You’ll get used to it once more, I assure you of that. Just learn to control it this time. We don’t want to repeat the past, now then, do we?” He asked with an evil smile.

I swallowed hard, the memory beginning to creep into my mind once more, but I pushed it out of the way as bile rose up my throat, the taste stuck in my mouth.

“Answer me, boy. Or have you become a mute?” His smile faded, and he voice rose, anger evident in it and I felt weak against him, beaten too many times to feel the physical pain, but still able feel the pain in my mind.

“No sir, we wouldn’t want that.” My voice sounded like a young child’s and I looked away from him, wincing at the sound of it.

He laughed openly like he so often did. “Still weak, I see. You’re still not a man, just a wee boy in high school, lusting after a woman that lay on your lap.” He I looked at him, startled. “Jake, she is yours now. I give her to you fully. Use her as you wish. She is your slave. Abuse her, use her, throw her away like the filth she is. Just don’t forget who you are, and what you will be.”

I swallowed hard, twitching as Kiki stirred once more in her slumber. Hiro laughed, seeing my body jerk.

“Remember your mission, boy. You and James are going out to town. I’m releasing you early. You have Kiki and James to use as your informers. Go now, boy.” He said and rose gracefully. “I have one bit of information that I haven’t given your brother. She is running her warm-up laps for track in exactly an hour and a half. Hurry, and you might ‘accidentally’ run into her, and be ahead of your brother, who is going to her same school, by the way.”

“What if I don’t want this mission?” I practically spat at him, surprising myself that that actually escaped my lips.

Hiro smiled crept across his face, as if it were a snake, slithering away to its hole in the ground. I swallowed hard, determined to stay looking strong. Like a man.

“It’ll be a fate worse than death, I can assure you of that.” His smile grew as I felt my confidence plummet to the ground. “The plot thickens.” He laughed.

Comments & reviews · 2
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deleted6
Review

WTF!!!!... Yeh that pretty well explains this part, I felt very confused, and here again who does he love his Nurse or the girl Toki.

It appears to me he loves Kiki? I prefer if he ended up with Kiki. Hiro apparent personality infuriates me less and he seems so much more like some evil bad guy in a cartoon. Personally at the end I imagined him rubbing his hands 'Mr Burns' like. This was much weaker than first part with Jake

I reckon you should try and improve this piece and repost it. Oh well thats all of it done for now LAF. I'll read next part when ya post it

Oh last question is 'Hunter Finnigan' one of the brothers?'

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Squall
Review
Squall wrote a review · Sat Nov 10, 2007 11:27 pm

Hey LAF.

I'll start off by saying that I have no idea on whether or not I liked this piece. There were some good aspects in this piece and some not so good ones at the same time. Descrpitions at times were relevant to the piece and help establish the environment and characters. Other times, I feel it doesn't fit. It's like science coinciding with fantasy.
I think you need to establish the link between these two things more strongly. It just feels...there at the moment.

Characters were...mehish. You tried to show their personalities but somewhat failed. It feels very similar to the first chapter and there doesn't seem to be much character development happening.

Dialogue was natural and well written so no criticism there.

I think what is the problem of this piece is the lack of direction. Everything seems to be all thrown in and you expect us to follow the story. If you want to keep things a mystery, at least provide us with a solid path to walk on. Some things in the story need to be explained more. You also need to make things feel consistant or somehow tie it together. It is quite loose at the moment and when I read it, I couldn't care less as to what happens to the nurse or the boy, simply due to the vagueness of the story.

I don't mind reading a vague story, but at least make the base of the story firm so that I can follow as to what the heck is happening.



Life’s disappointments are harder to take if you don’t know any swear words.
— Bill Watterson