Confusion
The mind works one way
and the heart another,
but when they work together
something beautiful is created.
Little can be needed to break this
and much is needed to keep it.
The mind will think logically
letting go of what should not be released.
While the heart will move to emotions
never letting go, even when they should.
When ones' mind and heart work together
there is little short of death that can stop them
When mind and heart move as one
watch closely or else you'll be left behind.
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
The mind works one way
and the heart another,
but when they work together
something beautiful is created.
Little can be needed to break this
and much is needed to keep it. - try not to use bland words at the end of lines like "this" and "it"
The mind will think logically
letting go of what should not be released.- I thought the mind was logical?
While the heart will move to emotions
never letting go, even when they should. - God, so true.
When ones' mind and heart work together
there is little short of death that can stop them
When mind and heart move as one
watch closely or else you'll be left behind. - Ooh! Sweet way to end it.
Again, I really like the ending. It fits perfectly, really. This poem really reflects on people's actions. You love your girlfriend but you forgot her birthday... she breaks up with you but your feelings for her never go away.
Something like that, right? =)
You're a great writer! Keep it up!
this is kind of vague. Tell me more than what you got. The first stanza was great but then they kept on decling in length untill no more. Come on! You can do better than that. The poem was vague and cliche. But it wasn't half bad when i was done getting unconfused lol.
Hope you have a good day. Your poem was cool. TA TA for now
SimonCowellLuver
i didn't ind it. but you need to put something more into it!
like try and make it sound more like a poem, it doesn't flow.
KEEP TRYING though!
This is fairly bland. I think what you need is to fix up the rhythm. Try reading it aloud - does it flow like a poem? Your complete sentences make it sound choppy.
The vagueness doesn't really give it character, so I'd suggest being more detailed and subjective in your writing rather than writing from the point of view of some soothsayer or whatever.