When you bake a cookie
Help yourself to a glass of milk
Eat it quick, eat it now,
Now, now, now
You can only eat a cookie
Only one cookie
Understand?
At home
Cookie
Only one,
Only two,
Kitchen, in the kitchen
In the kitchen
Eat your cookie
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139,203 Literary Works • 672,505 Reviews
Hiya! I'm here for a quick review!
First off, I find the style of this poem to be so, so, charming and enjoyable to read. It has a fast and really dynamic tempo which is interesting to read out loud, which I admit I did quite a few times.
The first line reminds me of the kids book, "If you give a mouse a cookie," which likely contributed to the sort of nostalgic, childlike feeling the poem has.
Overall, It's simplistic, but it works very well like that and I love your ability to create such a distinctive and consistent feeling with your writing!
Have a great day!
-emilyrebecca
Heyo! Just thought I’d drop by to leave a rather quick review.
First Impressions + What I Liked
I came in expecting some deep message into the struggles and meaning of life or something similar, but it’s just a poem about cookies? I…honestly don’t know what to make of it. It is a change of pace from the usual depressing stuff I see from most poems (including mine), though, which is nice.
The short lines give the impression of a rushed? manner of speech, or as Orabella put it, “strangely aggressive”. It kind of feels like the speaker is just saying whatever’s on their mind in one quick breath. It’s…very chaotic, in a good way?
Areas for Improvement
This part confused me a little, with the sudden change from one to two cookies? No real explanation was given (at least as far as I know), but it could just be me having a hard time interpreting poems.
Honestly, I have nothing much to improve on, as doing so would take away from the randomness that is this poem!
Overall Thoughts
A chaotic poem about eating cookies. Need I say more?
Keep writing, and remember to take breaks when needed! Have a nice day/night!
Cheers,
Horizon
Hello there! This is Orabella, here with a quick review. ^^
First off, welcome to YWS! Hope you like it here!! Please let me know if you have any questions, or if you just want to chat. ^^
I love your idea for this poem! Basically, it's saying to eat a cookie, which, I mean, sure? Why not? I should probably go eat a cookie, you know. And if you say I've already had a cookie today, well, I can just say a poem told me to. XD
I love how... strangely aggressive? this is, too. Lines like these:
and
It almost feels like someone is trying to force me to eat a cookie, which I can't say I've ever experienced before! I feel like you'd expect a poem about cookies to be about how good they are, but this is so much more unique than that! It's just such an interesting take on cookies and such an interesting way to describe them. Never seen a poem like this before, and I gotta say - I really love it a lot!
Also, I like how it switches:
It reminds me of a parent saying, "you can only have one," and then giving in and say, "ohh... okay find you can have two."
Even though it's very different from what I expected, I really like this poem, and it reminds me a lot of home (with some cookies