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12+

What We Know

by liehart


And silence.

Well, there’s no such thing as true silence. There will be, one day. No- by then there wouldn’t be days anymore. He said there would still be days, just no one left to count them. Is anyone really bothered with the difference?

The problem here is a conflict of perspective. Everything is. That’s what I believe, anyway. He doesn’t. Either you believe in your own brain, and you are aware that everything begins and ends with one’s own consciousness. The world is here for you. What terrifies me is that there’s nothing more to it.

I am feeling the effects running for too long. I have been for a while.

My feet are tired, obviously. They used to manage longer distances. I’ve already got the bones of an old man, or a dying one. My legs aren’t as good at holding me up, as though I’m always about to fall. There’s something cold in the pit of my stomach. It’s just sitting there, and it doesn’t want me to eat anything. It pushes at my diaphragm. There’s a wire loosely wrapped around my lungs. It takes just a slip for it to seize up. And I can feel how it glows orange, yellow, white, and when it relaxes, it’s left its mark.

My hands show how much of me has wasted away. In darkness, I think I can see the damned spots pool under the skin. In the light, I’ve clawed at them enough to draw blood. There’s a weight on my shoulder, something knotted up at the back of my neck. My mouth doesn’t want to open. I don’t know how much my eyes give away. Everything or nothing, but I don’t know what scares me more.

I didn’t think I was capable of change. But, of course, that’s the only way to measure time, isn’t it?


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351 Reviews


Points: 11482
Reviews: 351

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Sun Feb 25, 2018 10:14 am
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Kanome wrote a review...



Hey there. Kanome here with a review in honor of Review Day.
This piece is deep and it shows a lot of intense emotions... I can't tell if it's just ranting or what, but the emotion is definitely there.
I like the perspective of one's self in this work because of the emotion they are feeling and the feel of ranting about it to let the world know how they feel.
You did a really great job with this, can't tell if this is fictional, non-fictional, or just something random you came up with but still, amazing work.
Keep up the great work. Keep writing and enjoy your day!




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271 Reviews


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Fri Feb 23, 2018 12:34 am
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rosette wrote a review...



Hello. I'm just dropping in for a quick review.

I like the thoughts on time, specifically the whole first paragraph and two closing sentences. They were deep, and quite thought-provoking, and I really enjoyed them. But that was about all that I understood of this. It was like you began with deep thoughts, as if this were some sort of memoir, but in second half, things got a little strange with the wire and the colors and the blood. I'm confused on what's happening.

I'm really not sure what to think of it all. I'm not sure what this is. There's no real establishment of who the Narrator is, or who "He" is. There's no setting, no timeline, no backstory. Only thoughts. I almost feel like this is a random snippet from a novel, or short story, like there is so much more to say, but you just gave us this. The opening sentence especially gives that impression: "And silence." What happened before this?

I can't say much else other than this appears unfinished, and missing many crucial details. Perhaps some more time invested in showing who the Narrator is, and where they're at in their life would help. Even why they're thinking about time like this.

I hope these quick thoughts helped, and I wish you the best. <3

~rosette





Remember: the plot is nothing more than footprints left in the snow after your characters have run by on their way to incredible destinations.
— Ray Bradbury