Eyes as dark as toffee,
Accent as strong as coffee.
Hair as black as coal,
Your words ignite my soul.
You give me happiness.
You give me confidence.
I yearn for your assurance.
I yearn for your laughter.
I love your smile.
I love your joy.
Thank you for being me.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,728 Literary Works • 673,682 Reviews
Hey there!
Well, I must say, I liked the style of your poem, the words and the way the words flowed together. I also found the first two lines humourous to be honest- made me laugh!
You're a very entertaining writer and I suggest you continue to use your humour to create more poetry- always good to have a good laugh or even just to smile at something amusing!
Great poem, I look forward to reading the sequel!
MissLyricz x
Wow! I love it! I must say that you loose your rhyme scheme after the fourth line. I would either junk the rhyming idea or figure out a way to keep it. After the fourth line, you start beginning each two lines with the same word. Again I would keep this or toss it. I would also give the poem some sort of finish or resolution.
Hello!
Boom! 
(Don't mind my weirdness!)
the way you're using the similes! It's making me hungry! O.O In the first two lines, they go together nicely. With coffee, toffee. Not saying for the rhyming, but both are food, that's why. Then, the use of coal is bit of a distraction. You could use another food, I think! I believe you've tried to do rhyming here a bit, haven't you? I don't think that was anything necessary. Your poem's sweet and without rhyming too, it'd remain the same.
I hope to see more from you. Happy YWSing!
I think I know the person from your avvie! XD
Spoiler
On this beautiful warm day, I seem to have a review for your poem. I'll make it rather quick for you.
Interesting title. With that comma you have. I don't know if that's suitable (Using a comma in a title ) but not using that wouldn't be bad either.
Now, your poem,
So,
Well, nice. Good how you've tried to convey your message. But, it's little simple, you see? With topics like love and such, the writer has a wide range of options to write about. In that case, as a reader I was hoping to see more here. And, I feel the ending is incomplete. So, you can definitely work on that!
Overall, cute one here, kiddish!
~Nire.
P.S.
Spoiler
Hello lexxxiiii34 !!!!
It is Eros here to write a review for your work "Dear Special Someone".
I must say, that you are doing really great! *Eros claps for your work*
Let me begin withthe Title of your poem. The title is very apt and appropriate. It conveys the deep thoughts developed in you for the one who is very special for you. You don't want to disclose the name and so you use the word 'Someone'. The title is very catchy and attracts the reader towards your stuff.
Next, coming to the presentation. The poem is presented just so beautifully, that I am deeply impressed with it. The poem is short, sweet and full of a deep meaning.
Now comes the body part, the contents of your poem. It has got words which beautifully and sweetly describe the "Special someone". Toffee like eyes, beautiful black dense hair... And everything is just decribed in the most beautiful way.
The most important part that I loved about your poem is that it has got a rhyme scheme--- aa bb cc...
Your poem flows well. And I wanna say that it is a REALLY FANTASTIC , lovely, and a romantic short poem!!! I am waiting for more work to come up! Keep writing for we all love to read them
You are becoming a great writer! I think you should check out some of my work, for we are the same age I think it could help.
I love the wording you used it could be so much simpler but you defied it and it was a good decision. I really do enjoy this piece of work for it gives me a little "joy" in my day. But I do believe you could improve maybe make a more detailed poem if that's what you're into. I can't believe how someone's words could mean so much but they do make sure they see this, and make sure to keep writing you're good at it.
Hello there! Biluata here for a review. Admittedly, I haven't reviewed poetry in a while so I am a bit rusty, so I apologize in advance for rambling and/or nitpicking.
Overall, this is a very sweet poem! I really did like it, but the rhyme scheme was unnecessary. You started with a good rhyme, although it was a bit simplistic; that is not a bad thing, but it works against the overall simple beauty of the this piece.
If you continue to use this rhyme scheme with this poem if you edit, I would recommenced some changes to your rhymes in general.
Happiness and confidence really do not rhyme so once more, if you are going to use a rhyme scheme, you have to make sure that your lines rhyme. After that not-quite-a-couplet the rhyme scheme kind of vanishes.
Other than that, like I have stated before, this poem has a simplistic beauty, I just feel like the rhyme scheme is hindering the meaning of the poem itself.
Good work! I look forward to seeing more of your work around YWS.
~Luata
Hi this poem is quiet easy to understand, and really if one has had an experience of crushing over someone they can very well relate to this poem. I like it and think that it is quiet expressive.
Gosh, this is so adorable and sweet, I love it!
ooh...who is it? Give me another poem hint..?
V...
ooh...who is it? Give me another poem hint..?
ooh...who is it? Give me another poem hint..?