I sit staring blankly at my phone sitting on the small black table next to my bed. Next to my phone was a clock that read 2:30 pm. I wanted to call someone and tell that someone about everything that has happened that past year and explain to that person why I've been so distant, but I can't. It isn't that I didn't want to, I had been longing to tell someone but there was no one.
It was the summer between sophomore and junior year. Most of my "friends" will be at the mall or the beach or an amusement park and a year ago I would be with them. A year ago I was constantly surrounded by people that I convinced myself were my "friends" but "friends" don't leave when you need them the most. I never really fit in with these girls though. The girls I considered "friends" were utterly egotistical and dangerously dependent upon each other. Although I was regularly encompassed by these girls and by their laughter I always felt left out. And alas that is the worst pain, the worst case of lonesome; being surrounded by bodies and feeling alone.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Alrightly, things starting off with a bit of a sad premise there, it looks to be someone that's quite lonely and doesn't have too many friends just wanting someone to talk about their problems with...and kinda of reflecting on that somehow there. You get the feeling that this is a person whose been through quite a lot in recent times in their life and has been distant in general to others as a result of it which is pretty intriguing by itself. The note about there being no one does seem a little strange though cause it almost makes you think perhaps this person managed to lose the one friend they had or whoever is usually the most important one to them here.
Well that wasn't quite as dark as I was expecting it to be there, but it still seems like a pretty terrible situation to be in there, to find out that everyone you considered a friend is just not and well...it appears that things are generally quite bad for this person here. Well it does end on a properly sad note there anyway, being among people and still feeling lonely is something I've experienced a couple of times and well you've captured the situation of this person quite neatly here. A solid start to a story that you've got right here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
I hate to be rude or harsh towards anyone's piece of work, but I have to say that I agree with Niraco a ton. It's difficult to review your story if there isn't much to review to begin with. I'm not sure if your intention was to KEEP the passage short, but I must say (in no offensive manner) that I do agree with the opinion that your chapter was rather boring and dull. Perhaps more detail or hints as to what the story line is about would have made it way better. Your grammar, spelling and punctuation is almost perfect, and I want to see what you can do those skills. Plus, keeping things incredibly short like this, is no fun for the readers, nor does it keep one engaged with your story. For another thing, one thing I found rather irritating, even with such a short chapter, is that your character seemed a little bratty and whiny about things. She seemed more like a teenage drama queen rather than a character I can relate to. But then again, this is your first chapter, so I must have much more to learn about her.
I do hope you found this review helpful, and know that I am here only to help you and not to criticize your work offensively. In your next chapter, I want to see if you can use as much detail as possible. Bring your story to life so the reader is interested and hooked immediately! Make your character lovable as well, so we feel relatable to your character and engaged with the story. You have the skills, use them thoughtfully!
Good luck!
It's difficult to review anything when there's only two paragraphs, but I shall try my best.
Since Birkhoff pointed out the grammar I'll take on the content. Which is much more difficult since there is so little.
To be perfectly honest, it's rather boring. Angst while easy to write about isn't that much fun to read. I've been at that place. Perhaps you, yourself have these teen angst feelings and are venting out. Which can be a rather good tool but when regarding angst not so much.
I used to do the same thing. Due to teenage angst being pretty much myself a year ago that was all I could write about. I feel as if that is you.
Like I said before I can't really comment since there is hardly any content so this might not be spot on and somewhat stretched a little to try and have a proper review.
I think you should go back and write an awful lot more.
Also welcome to YSW, you're gonna love it!
Awe! That is so sad
I hope she finds someone she can't talk to, and really call a friend 
Hey Lexia!
Welcome to YWS! I hope you enjoy yourself here, it's a great place for learning.
First off, I should hand out the honorary 'Worst title' award, which I made myself, out of twigs.
Well, it's a very short piece and there's not much to correct or comment on, but I'll mention what I see.
Edit
'That' could also be acceptable, but I think it sounds better and I also feel you overemphasize on past tense here.
I like this word, I'll use it whenever I can. But it's still a touch outdated.
This is a really neat sentence, a good description for when you're in the middle of a crowded space, and couldn't feel more alone. However, I'd supplement 'bodies' for either 'people' or another example.
I really had to resort to nitpicking here. Though I have seen very little so far, you write well, with little to no grammatical errors and you use good varied vocabulary.
I guess my overall review would be: Write more!
Keep it up
Cheers
Birkhoff