He stared at the bodies on the ground, and then at the girl covered in blood.
“You’re late.”
She said simply after a moment of inspecting him in silence, turning away to pluck a knife from the closest body and wipe it carelessly on her jeans.
“You could have waited a little longer.” Was the best response he could muster, ignoring her annoyed huff as he took a few steps closer. “I tried to call and tell you I wasn’t going to be on time, but you didn’t answer.”
He couldn't even finish speaking before she was laughing, a light and airy sound that definitely shouldn’t be coming from someone who just killed several monsters. “Ah yes, picking up my phone and talking to Sean Hasse, the world’s deadliest vampire hunter, in the middle of a nest is a wonderful idea. How silly of me not to notice. ”
“Don’t sass me!” Sean said, and although he couldn't see her face as she crouched down beside another beheaded undead corpse, he could practically feel her roll her eyes. “Maybe you should have thought about not being able to answer your phone before you got yourself captured!”
“I wouldn’t use the word ‘captured’.” She responded after a moment of consideration, pressing two slender fingers to the vampire's flesh and holding them there. “It’s more of...reckless endangerment that eventually lead to my imprisonment. I knew you would be here soon anyway, and it was getting boring to wait.” She looked over her shoulder, strands of dirty-blonde hair framing her face, and cracked a smile- the kind that Sean knew all too well. Mischievous.Taunting. Adorable.
He hated it.
“That’s literally the same thing, Caroline.” His voice was full of faux exasperation as he moved closer to examine the body she was hunched over, kicking the head laying beside it away from them both.
She shook her head as she stood up again, shaking her hand as if to rid herself of the feeling of his skin. “Not exactly. Capture is when you don’t mean to get caught. I meant to.”
Sean took a sputtering breath as he tried to think of what to say to that, running a hand through his hair exasperatedly as the words finally came to him. “Caroline, you can’t just throw yourself into danger like that! You could have gotten hurt, or died, or-"
She cut him off quickly before he could finish his sentence, avoiding his eyes as she sauntered past him with a slight brush of their shoulders. “You can be a sourpuss later. His skin was warm, and they didn’t feed on me. There might still be a few girls around.”
Sean sighed, knowing it was useless to argue with her as she continued to walk away from him and deeper into the brood’s home. “You’re insufferable.”
Her laugh resounded off the concrete walls, surrounding them.
“Sweetheart, I’m so much more than that. I’m infamous.”
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140,110 Literary Works • 673,017 Reviews
That was amazing! I really liked how you added a lot of humour into it, and even though it was quite short it gave me a lot of the satisfaction I get from reading a novel.
I liked the beginning, because it at first seemed like she had killed the humans, but when I found out that they were vampire bodies it kind of changed my view on the characters.
I loved how you managed to show the characters personalities in this short a story. It made me feel much more connected to them, which is something I always look for in stories.
Anyways, great story, I don't really have anything to critique about it!
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!!
That was amazing! I really liked how you added a lot of humour into it, and even though it was quite short it gave me a lot of the satisfaction I get from reading a novel.
I liked the beginning, because it at first seemed like she had killed the humans, but when I found out that they were vampire bodies it kind of changed my view on the characters.
I loved how you managed to show the characters personalities in this short a story. It made me feel much more connected to them, which is something I always look for in stories.
Anyways, great story, I don't really have anything to critique about it!
I absolutely loved this! It's amazing that you were able to portray the personalities of these characters so well in such a short story. Also, I love the way you began. I was pulled into the story immediately and there was never a dull moment. Also, the ending was perfect. I hope that you continue this story, as it was fun to read.
Have a great day!
-1nspire
Thank you so much!! I'm so glad you liked it! I had been planning to leave this as a one-off, but as I wrote it I found myself really beginning to enjoy the characters, so I might post a few other stories about the two of them!
I absolutely loved this! It's amazing that you were able to portray the personalities of these characters so well in such a short story. Also, I love the way you began. I was pulled into the story immediately and there was never a dull moment. Also, the ending was perfect. I hope that you continue this story, as it was fun to read.
Have a great day!
-1nspire
This was really good. I liked how the two characters interacted, however,
The opening was kind of confusing, I didn't know if the bodies were human or not, I assumed they weren't when they said they were vampire hunters.
We had I idea why Sean was late. Maybe a traffic jam? It wouldn't play much of a importance, but when I'm late I usually have a excuse.
Last, this is a bit of a nitpick, but when Caroline called him sweetheart, it through me off, because I imagine a middle age of older person calling a younger person sweetheart, and I was imagining them the same age. (Sorry for the nitpick, this might not be a problem for anyone else)
Amazing job, and Merry Christmas!
Ah, yes, I can see where that would have confused you. I was hoping the context clues would that the bodies were of vampires- "from someone who just killed several monsters", "beheaded undead corpse", "they didn%u2019t feed on me". I can change it to be a bit more obvious though if you think that would help! The "sweetheart" thing was purposely to annoy Sean, because she was being cocky, though I might change that
Thank you for the review! Merry Christmas to you as well 