Published August 15, 2011
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138,958 Literary Works • 672,362 Reviews
Hey there!
I love you're concept but (Oh darn. Sorry ->) its a little old. Its been done alot. So lets see if you're poem forgives and covers up your plot.
Now, I'm not going to point out what the other two reviewers said in this paragraph. (though they are right.) What really... got to me was your lack of puntuations. ItWasLikeReadingTheEntirePoemAsOneWord <- annoying right?
So why don't you check out my blue marks, and read with the puntuations. It flows more better, yeah? But then again, placing a puntuation in one place can change the meaning of a poem, so it is up to you how you want to put them.
Also, I kind of hate your grammer in the first few lines. The sound so awkward. Sorry Dx
Baby, I'm loving you for this paragraph! Seriously! I thought after the first one that this poem will take some heck of a review but man! I was sooo wrong! This poem was it!
So, yeah, other than that, they weren't much mistakes (except the puntuations.) and this sure covers up for the cliche.
Well done and hope I wasn't to harsh in the beginning.
PM or wall me if you need anything!
-JT
I think the title you've chosen for the poem is perfect. It suits it. I really liked the part where you wrote 'A splash of bold colors' as in the odd one. And also the line 'It's not all physical pain. The words hurt more than the punches'. It was really touching. The entire poem was touching, full of emotion. Keep it up!
Hi there!
Wow. I honestly love the concept you are going for. No matter how hard you try, you're always the "odd one out", just like you're title says! Anyways, I have just one nit-pick:
I think that's how it's supposed to be. If not, I'm proved wrong
- gleek456 <3
This was an interesting read; How you portrayed standing out as a bad thing, instead of positive individuality and such. It's one that makes people think. Anyway, I had one critique to make:
The phrase "They ways stand out" does not quite make the sense it needs to. I think you meant to say "The ways stand out", but I could be wrong. In any case, a minor typo that should be easy to fix.
Again, I enjoyed reading your poem. I can tell you put a lot of thought into it. Great Job!