Published July 28, 2011
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138,007 Literary Works • 672,071 Reviews
I love this poem. And as said before; it's beautiful and I don't see any mistakes in it. Good job and keep up the good work.
Hey! Awesome poem! It totaly tells a great story, of love and sorrow, and so many things. And it really paints a picture! There was one place where I found something that could be maybe fixed if you wanted. It was near the end where you said too.
Slowly reality starts to seep in
Slowly I realize the mistakes I've made
Letting you in to the only piece of me that I had
The only thing that made me stand out
I let you in on my darkest darkest secrets
I've let you hold my heart in your hands
you've squeezed, and squeezed
And I'm suffocating
And I'm not breathing
And I'm feeling regret
I should have seen the outcome
I should have known what you would do to me
How you would destroy how I felt
How you would change everything
Trouble was coming
So I should have seen the problem
Now it's too big to handle
The difference between to and too, is, to is as in "to you." or "to big to handle. Too as in t-o-o, means also.
Other than this, your poem rocks! you have good structure, and your word choice is good, amybe as a suggestion, you could add some righms in there. Anyway. You rock! keep it up!
Again, this is beautiful. Is it about the same person? I have absolutely nothing for you to change. Your poem is amazing.