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Love it!!! And I found it very funny in a good way!
~FW~

Wow. I love this poem! It is a concept that I agree with you wholeheartedly on. I commend you for voicing your opinion on such a matter.

I'd hate to think
We've come
From monkeys#FF0000 ">;
That we were once hunched over#FF0000 ">,
But now we aren't#FF0000 ">.

I have always
Favored the truth
that we were created
By the Ultimate#FF0000 ">.
That each of us
#FF0000 ">Is unique#FF0000 ">,
#FF0000 ">And brilliant
In our own non-monkey way#FF0000 ">.

I hate the idea
Of my forefathers#FF0000 ">,
And my #FF0000 ">forefather's fathers#FF0000 ">,
Having flees
And no apposable thumbs

But I love the truth
And the living knowledge#FF0000 ">,
That when I look into
The dark, twinkling
Starlit
Sky#FF0000 ">,
That I know
Who created it
#FF0000 ">And who created me

helloo!
Since the others already took care of the criticism, I am only going to say that I love your poem! XD I have this discussion with a friend of mine about whether we came from monkeys or not and it is never ending!! Kinda frustrating..But I will finally make him believe that God made us *nods*
nice work!! I enjoyed reading this!
-qaralynn-

Lele,

I hope you know how truely touching, amazing and sincerely beautiful this is.
I'm a firm and very strong believer in Christ, us coming from monkeys in my opinion is absolute rubbish.
You've serious talent and amazing potential.

One little thing that threw me;

But I love the truth
And the living knowledge
That when I look into
The dark, twinkling
Starlit
Sky
That I know
Who created it
Who created me#FF0000 ">I would cut the other who here. Not only is it too repetitive, I think it cuts the flow a little bit. Plus, it would sound so much better without out it.

HAHAHA! Robin, I love this! I have to say I agree and the end made me laugh. This is brilliant. I love that you mention flees, it gave the poem humor. But I would add punctuation to it, I think it makes it look more professional... but then again, that's not obligatory for the poem to be correct. *likes* Great job!

My favorite part:

lele253isme wrote:But I love the truth
And the living knowledge
That when I look into
The dark, twinkling
Starlit
Sky
That I know
Who created it
Who created me

Hi Lele, here to review!

The first thing I'm going to tell you is that I definitely agree with this poem. xD I chuckled at a few of the lines, even. I have the same views as far as this goes, but there are a few things that I wanted to say regarding the poem itself.

For starters, you have a concept, which is good. You have humor, which is also good. (Obviously) But you aren't making any move to try and prove your points - you don't need a lot of it, but sprinklings here and there that make your voice and beliefs seem a little less flimsy than, "I don't believe, I hate to believe," if you know what I mean. Add a bit of logic in a creative sort of way, some wit and quick thinking. Throw a few phrases around that will get your voice across and get it across well and effectively.

Another thing that I wanted to talk about was the use of imagery in this poem. Now, I'm not sure if the aim of the poem was to have a bunch of fresh, fancy images dancing around and having a good time, but it was seriously lacking something in this department. You seemed to put things a little too simply, it was far too blunt. There wasn't much creative wording, and there were places where the poem just started sounding like a list of traits that you hate to think about.

For example:

That we were once hunched over
But now we aren't

That each of us
Are unique
Brilliant
In our own non-monkey way