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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Overall I really liked it, just a couple suggestions (der).
Instead of "don't give a care" you might want to change it. I would suggest using 'really', since 'give a' is two syllables, 'really' is yeah... you get it. Anyways, using really just sort of flows better.
Just a little grammar, it's *their* not there.
Loved the theme! A bit of a cliche but important nonetheless. All the questions really stressed the theme and made the reader think.
Great job! Keep it up!
~Hugs,
HappyDays
Hey Lele! I've been rather horrible with keeping up with my reviews, so sorry
About this poem, I think you might be able to separate it into stanzas
I definitely understand what you're saying by this. Your poems are always very clear, but could use a little better organization.
This is the question, right? The subject of the poem. You go on about independence and inner beauty and independent thinkers, which is all part of the question asking 'what makes you yourself'. Now by the end of the poem, you're supposed to have answered the question, in a way.
You end it with another question, which kind of defeats the purpose of asking the one at the beginning. What are you trying to make a point of? Whether or not it is possible to be unique and live your own life with your own will, or if you ARE an independent thinker, a free person? I get what you're saying, but it's two points in one.
Besides that, it's all very good
~blacksheep
#FF0000 ">The thing that really gets me thinking, is the fact that , although the first couple of lines, are all questions, the only 'question mark(?)' that i see, is in the last line. Now, i might be wrong, but it certainly is confusing.
Simply...terrible! I threw up on my comput--you said you wanted harshness... Just kidding. I totally agree.
Not much else to say other than "good job." This is very true and I wish more people stood out and didn't just follow trends. It just becomes hard to stand out with the media. I quickly wrote this review, sorry, so please read it carefully, and KEEP THINKIN' sista!