deleted

This was a nice poem, short, sweet, and to the point. There are a few things though.
First stanza- space after the comma in the fourth line

Second stanza- Third line doesn't make sense. Did you mean to say find the things you couldn't find?
The fourth and fifth line kind of break the flow

Thats all. It's a intresting concept and I loved reading this. Write on!

Good! I like the lines in the first stanza, "A labyrinth of a winding vine
Yes,freedom is a state of mind" In the second stanza, I would remove the word "because" so the poem would flow better

I LOVE this poem, and I really love how you switched from "Freedom is a state of mind" to "Freedom is a state of mine", like you've achieved it! I really loved that.
A really strong and truthful poem!

This one is very short compared to your other poems It’s not a bad thing, it just means there is less to critique! So I hope I can still help here

I like the message; from the first line or two anyone can grasp the concept and stay invested in the poem until the end. It’s deep, but simple enough that anyone can relate to it.

HOWEVER, you need to dig deeper in yourself and try to bring out more emotion. It feels as though you are inspired to write by these awesome concepts that come in your brilliant noggin, and then when you get down to writing them you focus so much on the RHYME SCHEME that you forget to put your heart and soul into it.

For example, the line ‘you can undo the binds’ is very bland. If you were trapped, you wouldn’t simply want to ‘undo’ the binds that held you back, you would want to tear those things to shreds! You’d want to rip those suffocating, constricting ribbons of self doubt and throw them on the floor and then stomp on them and then flush them down the toilet. I probably went a bit too far in that, but hopefully you get what I mean. I’d like to see you flesh out your concepts with equally original description and emotion. It’s the only way to make you stand out from the crowd.

I really enjoyed reading and reviewing for you. If you post any more, let me know and I’ll stop by

Keep writing,
~blacksheep

I liked this, and I think it would work very well as a song, with the repetition of the first line at the end...

I thought the ending was very strong, switching from "state of mind" to "state of mine" very clever and poetic...

just one nitpick is the "travel out of the bounds" line, as all the others rhyme with ine, it doesn't really fit, how about "travel outside the lines?"

anyway, I love the message, and this is very short, sweet, and pithy.

You requested I review so here I am .
This is a really good poem and ,sorry I don`t nit pick
so I have nothing bad to say about it,or any corrections to make.

Ack! Have to point this little typo out:

Yes, Freedom is a state of mine <-- should be MIND, not MINE.

Sorry, it was annoying me, lol.

Anyway! As far as your poem goes, I think it was interesting how freedom was just a state of mind and you could get out of things using the power of the mind. Yay, restricted intelligence directed in a certain way! Still, I have to admit that my head kind of hurts. By saying that freedom is a state of mind, this automatically implies that there must be a limitation of freedom, which kind of implies that freedom isn't free. And your poem doesn't really do anything with this paradox, which kind of makes me sad. It's like you were focusing so much on rhyming that this completely slipped your mind. So I would definitely play around with this poem a lot more.

I found this incredibly clever! You've portrayed a very powerful theme in just a few words...My only critique is that the rhythm could be much better balanced...perhaps balancing out the syllables and creating a more fluid rhythm would help create the overall atmosphere required to reinforce the tone of the poem...

This is very interesting, as I was thinking of freedom before I read this. Just a few things. Art all the lines in the first stanza supposed to rhyme? If so, why does the second stanza not follow the same pattern? I think you should add more punctuation to this. It has a nice rhythm. You put great emotion into this. The repeated line at the end of the stanzas is probably the best part. I enjoyed reading this. Keep up the good work!

I really like the message this is conveying ^.^ You can't be truly free, until you think in your head that you're free, very deep!
Just a few things;

Freedom is a state of mind,
A trick that you have to learn in time, [I would remove the word 'that' and it would help match the rhythm of the first line.]
A labyrinth of a vine, [Maybe add a two syllable descriptive word to vine? It would really help the rhythm, such as a 'winding vine'.]
That you must climb [This sounds awkward...]
Yes,freedom is a state of mind.

Because if you are trapped
You can undo the binds
Find the things you couldn't find
Travel out of the bounds
Being different this time
Yes, Freedom is a state of mine
[This stanza as a whole has the ability to sound really good, but I would just work on it some.]