Young Writers Society

Hello hello!

I loved all three of these. Now, I'm a sucker for romantic poems in general, and love themed haiku just hits different to me. It's probably something to do with the feeling of constriction that comes with following the set rules of writing a haiku paired with the agreed on idea that romance is such a flowy thing, but whatever it is, I enjoy it.

Let's look into one thing I have to say though~

Loving you is like

Climbing up a mountain top

A lot of songs use the images of mountains to reference a love that is basically impossible. There's some kind of barrier between the actual relationship, emotionally or physically, and that leads into a lot of sappy thoughts and declarations. When you think about it, a mountain is made of a very high point which is the top and the very low point of the ground, which makes a lot of sense when it's compared to strain. \

I'm wondering if that's what you're going for here? Especially with the last line being "Never-ending and breath gone" because that sounds rather negative. There are a lot of ways to take those images, one being out of breath in a good way because of how "in love" the other person makes them, two being out of breath in a bad way which speaks for itself in the way where there is some kind of struggle happening.

The last haiku changes my opinion about that though, so it's kind of confusing to me. Growing as a whole is often used to symbolize something improving or getting stronger as time goes on, but I don't really feel the build up from the very stressed, almost bitter phrasing of the last part of the first haiku. I could just be reading it the wrong way and assuming too much info, but I'd like more clarification there.

That's all! Have a good day!