God constantly puts me on the operating table,
Because there is always work to be done.
It's painful when he tears open my soul,
But this will help me in the long run.
He wants me to change on my own free will,
But guides me through and through.
He stops and takes me back a step,
If I miss a stitch or two.
He takes me through therapy,
A chance to remember why life is good.
And even though I may question it sometimes,
He reminds me why I should.
Tears will come even after the pain,
That's why God keeps a few jars.
But if there is one thing I have learned most,
Is that pain leaves beautiful scars.
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I have now fixed the errors please let me know if anyone finds any more. thanks!!
Wow thanks everyone! Just to clear things up for none christians, the line that says that's why God keeps a few jars is just reinstating what it says in the bible about how God keeps every single one of our tears inside jars. The line He reminds me why I should is saying that I may question God's plan He reminds me why I should trust him. Thanks everyone!
Hey, that was awesome! I'm not a particularly religious person, but I still appreciated the beauty of this poem. You rhyming was very good as well. One nitpick:
Take out the comma, you don't need it.
Great poem!
--Dreamy
Hello! This is pretty good. It's difficult for me to relate to, not being a Christian, but I like you metaphor - I'm a sucker for a good extended metaphor in a poem. There were just a couple of parts that confused me: "He reminds me why I should." ...why you should what? and "that's why God keeps a few jars." ...jars of what? I'm not sure what you mean in these parts, and I get the feeling they might be in there to make things rhyme. This is quite common, but it means that the rhyming sounds quite forced, which is a shame because the rest of the rhyming is fine. It's good though apart from that - I like the way it ends as well. It has a good message.
Hey there, Leader! Fellow Christian here. Love your poem, honestly I do. It's very unique and original. Reading this was very nice, most all of it flowed like a gushing river, which in poetry is something you want. You must remember to capitalize each line though, Leader. Tis a rule.
Tata for now, and have a good day!
-Miss Mizz
Hey there!
To start: Thanks for the good read! Its very original, so well done!
I can't nitpick this because I was drawn in by it. Your poetry is so colourful in imagery!
This poem is one big metaphor
And that's why I love it!
Keep the confusion, I think it fumes mystery - I adore mystery.
Beautiful conveyance of emotion too
Ben.
All the mistakes I found were in your last two lines. The 'but' should be capitalized. Before the 'is' that starts the second line should be an 'it.' And there should not be a comma between 'pain' and 'leaves.'
I really liked this, very original. I think you should tell us why your speaker is being operated on. Was her heart broken? hmm...
Classy
I love this, well done . . .
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also check out some of my other works on my portfolio Thanks and again well done