My eyes squint open and I turn my head over towards the light filtering through the torn up blinds. I rub my eyes and roll over. I sigh in relief as I feel the light bump of my scar next to my left eye. I stand up from my mattress on the dirty floor and walk to the window, my feet scratching against the hard wood floor. I pull the blinds back, peeking outside, and look at all the men and women walking through the square.
“Molly!” Mrs. Guanna calls
“Yes?” I call down, hearing my voice for the first time today.
I’m surprised. My voice sounds so croaky and old. My hand flies to my throat as I try to swallow the ball forming in my throat. I tie my brown hair out of my face, and look in the mirror. My green eyes glimmer back at me as my hand lowly rises to my scar. Touching the top of my eyebrow, I lightly drag my fingertips down the scar, feeling the slight bump. I sigh and walk to the door, creaking it open. I walk slowly down the stairs, trailing my hands along the rough wooden banister. I take my hand off and look at it. Small cuts that will slowly turn into scars.
Scars. I guess you can say I have a lot. But I like my scars. They are a part of me and tell my stories since I was little up to now. Like the one on my elbow when my mother and I were cooking in the old kitchen and she dropped the blade. Or the one on my toe when the dog was chasing me. The most important one though, is the one next to my eye.
A scream of terror erupts through the crowd, jolting me awake. I sit up and grab my bag, which was close by me in case I had to make a quick escape. I peak out of the alleyway where I was hiding out. Through the thick and dense crowd I could see them. Specials. I scamper up the alleyway and climb over the fence. I try to jump off but I’m jerked back. My heart skips a beat thinking that they finally caught me, but when I look back I see that it was only my black cloak stuck in one of the wires. My breath gets caught in my throat as I see the tall, powerful figures cutting through the crowd like a knife through bread. My fingers fumble desperately with the cloth, pulling and yanking at it. I look back frantically and finally see them clearly enough to see their sharp and powerful features. High cheekbones, dark eyes, tanned skin, muscular bodies. I’ve always heard things, but I’ve never actually come this close to see them. I’ve always been one step ahead. Not this time. All three of them swiftly walk over, looking exactly the same. Three women. All three have sleek shiny lack hair, pulled away from their sharp faces. I can feel their eyes boring into me like an animal watching its prey. I now frantically pull at my cloak, feeling my heartbeat in my ears as I hear their black cloaks dragging on the wet cobblestone. The middle one puts her hand out, and in it is a sharp knife. She walks slowly towards me, picking me up off the fence with ease and setting me on the ground hard. I struggle under her hand but she has it locked on me.
“Where were you going? Do you really think you’d be able to escape us very long? We’ve had our eyes on you for a very long time.” She grasps my face with her hand and angles me up to look her in the eyes.
I fight as best I can but the other two have me in their grasp and they we’re made to be powerful. I eye the knife, my brain already filtering all the ways I can take it from her. As if reading my mind, she puts the knife out of my reach, and straightens herself. My eyes drop to the ground, desperately hoping for someone to walk by and witness what is happening. The Special grabs the back of my neck and pulls me towards her with an inhumane strength. The other two huddle around greedily, their eyes wide and their lips curled into cruel smiles. I struggle as my feet come off the ground and I see the one holding me hold her knife up. She brings it to my face and slowly drags it down, applying more and more pressure. I scream and screw my eyes shut, feeling the blood stream down my face. She drops me on the ground with a hard thud, and before I could think of running, the other two pounce on me, locking their hands on me to keep me in place.
“Why are you doing this?” I ask, gritting my teeth against the pain.
She crouches down and looks at me, smiling with her face tiled. The knife still in her hand hovering over my thigh.
“You deserve the pain.” She slowly draws the words out, as if giving me time to soak it in. “Do you know how much time and effort it takes to track you down amongst the thousands of people in this city? New York City is a big place.” Without even taking another breath she plunges the knife into my thigh.
I scream in agony, tears streaming down my face as the pain overcomes me. The three ladies just laugh cruelly. I open my eyes, hoping to see something good before they take me away. My eyes land on two boys walking past the entrance to the alleyway. They stop and look at me. Through the tears in my eyes I can make them out to look the same. Brothers. Sandy hair, squared jaw, and what I think, blue eyes. Their cloaks trail behind them like the Specials but after a minute I noticed that they were not fitted to be that way, more like they were to big for the boys. A shot of pain slices through my thoughts and I’m back to reality, realizing that these so-called “protectors” are still in the alleyway torturing me. I pant heavily as I watch the Specials stare coldly at me.
“Stop.” I pleadingly whisper.
She bends down towards my ear, crouching low, and spits “Never” plunging the knife deeper into my leg.
I hear gunshots go off and people screaming. I see the Specials reach for me. Before they can reach for me, someone is pulling me back, lifting me up and backing off out of their reach. My head weakly turn towards the person holding me, and I recognize one of the boys at the alleyway. I realize he’s holding me with one arm, and in his other hand is a gun. He fires it and I hear a loud hiss and scream as it hits one of the women, what I think to be the group leader. My vision starts to go dark around the edges as the boy starts to retreat slowly. He lets off a few more bullets and then takes off running. The last thing I hear are the screams of the Specials. Boy, will I be in trouble when I see them next.
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Hey Laura! Laural? It's nice to meet you, welcome to YWS! I'm Stella, and I'll be your reviewer today.
I hope you post a follow-up to this prologue soon, and you can give me a shout when you do, I'd love to read it!
This reminds me of a lot of successful YA series - like the Uglies by Scott Westerfeld, and your introduction line sounds a bit like The Hunger Games, a bit like The Selection and a bit like Only Ever Yours by Louise O'Neill, so that's exciting!
The thing about prologues is that they're rarely ever necessary. Often, an author would be better off just plunging straight into chapter one. I think that the problem with this one, as it is, is that it doesn't really feel like a prologue. The flashback by itself might do, but with the introduction it definitely feels like it belongs to the body of the novel, rather than preceding it. In fact, I think that the flashback would be really nice further into the story, after we've been introduced a bit to your character.
I think the bit about the scars was really cool. I'm a bit weird about stories that start with people getting up because, honestly, most people get up in the same way. They wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast. It's a little mundane to read in a story. I think it would have so much more impact if you started bam! With her in front of the mirror, running off the list of her scars one by one until she gets to the one by her eye. A question though - why is that one important, and not the presumed scar she has on her leg from the same incident?
I think you've got a really good thing going here, so don't worry if I sound a bit critical, reviews are all about finding the good in a work and making it shine even brighter
Hope I helped, drop me a note if you need anything!
-Stella x
I'm new to the site but not to writing, and I know how to identify a good book. I saw the comment below saying that the rest is posted on a different site, and I'll probably look into it. If there's more of your work here, then I'll try to find it!
Thanks so much it means a lot, remember to subscribe and make an account so you can follow the book
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Hello, lauraljane!!

This is Eros here to write a review for this beautiful piece!!
Well...I was just scrolling over the Green Room and what caught my eyes is the title, "Prologue". I saw that I'll get to read a new novel now. And I read the description which captivated me!
So, I decided to peep in the work. I felt that this would really be an interesting novel. The theme is very unique in itself and the way you have described everything just make it sooo AWESOME!
The pain which one would suffer when someone scarrs their body with a sharp knife, the feeling of the cold blood oozing and the screams...you have described it really beautifully!
I wanna know more about the boy. Who is he? Why he had saved the narrator? Everything! You have raised up my curiosity!!
Tell me when you write the next chapter. It will surely be a beautiful novel.
Keep writing...
Never cease...
Because we all love to keep reading such awesome works like this one!!
Have a great day/evening!
Thank you so much for the review. It makes me so happy to see that people are reading and enjoying my book. Anyways, I don't really think I'll be posting much on here but my full book is on Missliterati.com. Its finished but I've unpublished most of the chapters to work on them. If you want to read it its called Perfection by EmberEyes, hope you could take the time to read it, and don't forget to subscribe
))
Hey, I never heard about Missliterati.com...bu it seems a very interesting site!
It such a great site!! I've been on it for three or four years. You meet some interesting people and the response to your books are great! You should check it out, and when you do remember to read my books