wild flowers and love

Wild flowers are like love
it flows
they both rise within you
There's many different colors of both
they dies and grows
love go through cycles
Wild flowers need love
When the rain falls down on them
you feel warm and cozy
only because you know
you have love
and
wild flowers...

Comments & reviews · 3
Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

User avatar
lulu_lizzrd
Comment

ummm how do flowers 'flow'

lulu

I personaly would change a few things...

Wild flowers are like love...
it flows...


I would say:
Wild flowers are like love...
The two flow (insert adverb here)...

the love rises within you, such as wild flowers...


Here I would go with something like:
They both rise from within you...

Theres many different colors of love...
Love dies and grows...


Here:
There are different colors of both...
They die and they grow...

Wild flowers go through cycles...
Wild flowers need love...


They go through cycles...
Flowers need love...
And love needs flowers...

When the rain falls down on them you feel warm and cozy...
only because you know you have love and your wild flowers...


When the rain falls down on them...
You will feel warm and cozy...
Only because you know...
You have your love...
And your wildflowers...

Hope it helps.

~Star

User avatar
bethanyoverload
Comment

It was a good poem all though i think that you needed to support it more.



That comma is load bearing.
— Omni