Published May 31, 2010
[*]This poem is for my daughter.....enjoy![*]
Your strong hands
Cradling so softly and light
A child of unpure blood
Yet so pure a child
A fire roaring within
To warm a cold heart
To tear through fractures in an unsteady foundation
Building a life so magnificent
Making you tremble and cower beneath its brilliance
Yet so fragile
So timid
So easily influenced by a trusted love
Let your instincts bound you
To this little love
So true and complete
Overwhelming
Frightening
Forever binding
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139,564 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
A fine poem ladyworkz
The emotion you put into this piece should not be ignored nor unrecognized.
The flow was well with minor bumps and all and all it was great.
Keep writing and ill keep an eye out for more!
-Dawn
Thank you for the responses and suggestions. just a note, the poem is for my daughter...not about her. in the poem i am actually talking to her father, his strong hands, his little love, how he cowers from her brilliance, etc... My apologies for not clarifying.
Aww! I love poems from parents about their kids.
So cute!
The main thing is that it says your "strong hands/cradling..." but it makes it sound like the baby is cradling when I don't think that's the case! So it's a subject/verb confusion. Maybe it would be cuter if you talked about her strong hands squeezing your finger? I don't know, play around with it!
Very cute!