Please
Don't ignore me
I’m sorry
Forgive me
No, wait! Come back
I must have you
Please don’t leave me
I know it’s hard for us
Our parents... our friends
But we can ignore them
It’s just us now
We...
We can run away
Where they'll never find us
Just please, believe in me
We can do it
Just us...
Let’s go now
Tonight
While they sleep
We’ll pack and run
Run far, run fast
Just you and I baby
Just us...
Forever
We can do it
If we trust and believe in each other
What do you say my love
Shall we run?
Tonight?
We can drug the wine to lull them to a deep dreamless sleep
When they wake, we'll be long gone
No one can catch us
We’ll take the horses
A pair of horses for us
And leave them once we get far enough
We’ll traverse by foot through the forest and over the mountains
We can hide up in the mountains then journey on into a new land
A new land where no one knows us
Just you and I baby
Just you and me
And the whole new world
Will you go?
With me?
You must agree...
Please agree
I need you
And you need me
Let us be free!
ps. this was just a random bit I did to try to get soemone to pay attention to me... it worked! and whatever, a bit of randomness and such
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140,910 Literary Works • 673,728 Reviews
This wasn't bad. But you used the actual WORDS that you would use when having a conversation to which you were speaking to, according with line-breaks, so I didn't really find this as high-rate poetry. For these reasons, this was bland and dull and...although it might sound pretty spoken, it's plain on paper.
Haha, very catchy too!
Just one nitpick:
"We can drug the wine to lull them to a deep dreamless sleep"
I would rather see them broken apart like:
"We can drug the wine to lull them to
a deep dreamless sleep"
That sounds better to me. Otherwise, nicely done. Very catchy.