all i want to be is your mother

Hello labyrinthine! Genevieve here to leave a quick review on your work all i want to be is your mother in honor of Review Month!

Right off the bat, I want to say that the title of the poem instantly intrigues the reader to want to know more. Titles can be very important to the poem itself, and I find it fitting for this piece.

The poem beginning in the middle of a sentence is really creative yet perfect. It truly feels like the narrator is talking to someone instead of writing for an audience to read. This is emphasized by the following lines, as the narrator writes to "you". It feels quite personal, as if the reader is merely watching or viewing this interaction.

I also really enjoy the structure of this poem. The indent of lines doesn't feel forced, but rather it represents a distance when the lines go further before coming back to the normal margins. The spacing and choices of verse and isolated lines feels intentional, and serve a purpose that further shows distance vs the closeness of the words in the poem.

I really love the meaning of this poem. In the lines:

and i hold these memories in my womb still forming
until they stop growing, until they become something
that will never be.

something i never will be

Hello! I really like this poem! It's lovely. At first sweet, then getting new meaning.

"and i can't help it if all i want to be is your mother.

i take you in my arms and tell you you are beautiful.

i steep your tea before you walk through the door.

i will tell you wild, wild stories"

This sounds like amazing parenthood. Something a child seeks. Leaves the reader with a warm feeling. "This woman just wants her baby to have a great life! How sweet is that!" just amazing and lovely. But then...

"of a girl who was everything, everything,

to everyone,

especially herself,"

Sounds like people pleaser problems. A girl who was everything to everyone. Sadly I can't tell if "especially herself" is a sacrasm or did she really never forget about herself through this hard time.

"(i tell you the stories so you don't become

like me, realize nobody can ever be her.)"

Deep and meaningful part. This woman just don't want her kid to suffer. She'll tell her kid all what she did and make her kid realize that it's no use of being a people pleaser. She doesn't want her kid to suffer the same problems she used to.

"and i hold those memories in my womb still forming

until they stop growing, until they become something

that never will be."

Another deep part. This woman already is expecting a child. She keeps her memories, waiting for her child's time to come!

"something *i* never will be."

She really doesn't want her child to become what she was. And it shows.

"i can't help if all i want is for you to lay in someone's arms, existing"

It shows how the woman wants her child to just be. She knows her kid will be good enough while just existing. There's no need to try to do something greater. The kid will be already good enough. No matter what will the kid do. And the woman really wished for her kid to be loved by someone in the future. Maybe because no one loved her?

Hi labyrinthine. Valkyria here to leave a short review for your work. Let's get into it:

This is a lovely poem. The way I interpreted it is it explores the pure love a mother has for her child, something that the speaker wants. Then we uncover the deeper meaning behind those thoughts. The speaker wants the child to have a better life than they did, as the line "so you don't become like me" suggests. I love the cozy imagery at the beginning of the poem. Holding the child in the arms and steeping the tea evokes warm feelings of something kind and safe. Even the pale pink background adds to the softness and almost melancholy feeling.

Well done!

Hello ^^ I want to give a short review on this as it really connected with me. Thank you for sharing such a intimate piece!!

Reading your poem felt like someone cracked open a quiet, hidden place in me and let me sit inside it for a little while. The way you write about wanting to be a mother, doesn't sit in a literal way. I think that's what makes your poem so effective is how it explores the weight of responsibility, wanting to take care of someone so fully that it becomes part of your identity. The way you write, it’s not just about being a mother in the literal sense, but about embodying that ideal of care, protection, and unconditional presence. What’s strikes most, is that you don’t romanticize it; you show how that desire can never be fully satisfied. When you repeat “something i never will be,” it emphasizes how unreachable this role feels, even as the speaker longs for it. With the title setting the central idea, there is no more to it than the speaker wanting to be someone's mother. Like a thesis!! Really love that (essay geek..) the rest of the poem tests, questions and eventually deconstructs it!



What stood out to me a lot, was the structure mirroring the meaning. The indentation in the middle section, where you say "wild, wild stories," visually brings us in deeper, almost tugging at us like the way stories nest inside one another. It brings out the physical aspect of passing down stories almost as if you're tucking them inside. With the addition of repetition having a strong effect. The phrase "everything, everything" pulls in the expectations like a tide upon the speakers shoulders, how impossible it is to fulfill it. When we get to "something i will never be," it creates a stark contrast to the gap between the dream of being "everything" and the reality of being "nothing" in your own eyes. Even more, using a lowercase i instead of a capitalized one, almost as if the speaker holds less respect towards themselves (? not sure if that was intentional). Oh the center of creation, the womb, the carrier of potential memories, identities, and stories that may never fully bloom into fruition. By connecting memory and such gestation, you created a sense of fragility in the past and future, how both are so unfinished and delicate to the touch. As all humans are. It struck a cord in me, how complicated it is to bring another life into this world, for the things we carry that may never get born into reality. It made me think about all the dreams I hold that might never actually become anything, but they’re still alive inside me, still growing, even if they don’t get to “be.” That’s such a raw way to talk about loss without even naming it.

And the final stroke of the brush, "i can't help if all i want is for you to lay in someone's arms, existing." Stripping away all the monsoons of emotions into the simplest, greatest thing, to exist. The closeness of being held. The reduction from "everything, everything" to just "existing" makes the poem's conclusion hit harder, showing how even the simplest form of being and connection is enough. This was beautiful to take apart and read. Thank you for the privilege to do so <3

this is such a nicely written poem. it does so well when exploring the complexities of bearing responsibility to tend for another. to want to let this desire be yours only and identify with it completely, to (want to) become this idealized person others can rely on; with the underlying knowledge that you can't become full from this desire because its unreachable.

i also love this usage of the title acting as a "line" for the poem. it's such a simple, classic, but still creative way of using the title as a "tool" for your poetry. the title gives emphasis on the speaker's desire to be this idealized caretaker for someone else, and to be introduced to this before the rest of the poem turns out to deconstruct this desire is great.

but, something i also love about this poem is how despite it deconstructs the speaker's wishes to fit into this specific role that's unreachable—and possibly revealing some co-dependency within this longing from the speaker's end due to wanting this other person to rely on them—the writing treats the speaker gently. while also giving some pure qualities to this relationship with the speaker and this other person, despite the co-dependency being easy to interpret. within the deconstruction comes with some sympathy, and understanding, perhaps.

lovely poem!!