I sometimes wondered why there were just things we couldn't reach. Whether it be emotionally or physically. In my case, I experienced both, being short and emotionally hurt at times. What I have always failed to reach can go from as simple as an item on the top of a shelf, to reaching a state of happiness even if only for a few minutes. Seems quite depressing, yes, but alongside depressing it's also very true. Most things emotionally are hard to reach, especially happiness. I, myself, am content with how things happen, I don't tend to get angry or mad, or sad anymore, feelings are untouchable for me recently. It's like somebody put an anesthetic on my heart and now I don't know how to feel, and all I can ever do anymore is laugh about everything. But laughing works right? Even if it may be fake. Anyways, this seems depressing so, I'll go get a stool that way I can physically reach my top cabinet in my kitchen. Now all I can't touch are things emotionally and mentally.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,004 Literary Works • 672,792 Reviews
Hello! Welcome to the site!
(and one quick housekeeping note, I noticed you had a blank comment down there and I deleted that for you to keep things tidy.)
I really liked the simplicity of this piece and that you're speaking to an emotion that I'm sure everyone has felt at some point in their lives. I'm not sure what your intention for this piece is, but it was definitely an interesting thing to think about.
With intention for your piece, if you wrote this as some flash fiction you're trying to improve, you've come to the right place by posting it as a literary work! If you wrote this hoping to start a discussion about reaching for things that feel out of reach, then I would recommend posting it a forum (maybe the lounge or serious discussion and debate) to start a conversation and so you don't have to use any of your points. If you wrote this as a way to vent and you're not looking for much feedback, I would recommend posting it on your wall on in your blog so people can comment if they want but also so you don't have to use any points
If you wrote this as flash fiction you're trying to improve my one piece of feedback is that I think you could break this up into multiple paragraphs and maybe expand a bit on some of the ideas you mention. Maybe tell a story or give an example of how the narrator has been hurt and how that has impacted them. Or maybe show how seeing others being hurt has impacted this narrator's feelings about it. If you're trying to keep this brief, I think you have a little room to expand without getting too much longer.
I'll leave things there for now, but let me know if you have any questions or if you'd like feedback about something I didn't mention! Hope to see you around the site soon!
Hi there kysbrianaa! Katja here to hopefully provide you with helpful feedback on your writing here! As it is marked "other" I will try to be a bit more objective than usual. Please feel free to disregard any suggestions or comments I may provide, should you deem them unhelpful! That being said, lets get onto the review!
My Thoughts
As someone who is also short and occasionally struggles emotionally, I can somewhat relate to the main message of being unable to "reach" physically and emotionally. Your short piece of writing effectively conveys your frustration about being unable to feel . You seem to express a deeper frustration than just simply being unable to "reach" things physically and emotionally. It seems to be a deeper level of numbness than that, but whether I'm just over analyzing or not is hard to say.
My Suggestions
I would use a present tense, as it seems this is an ongoing train of thought. so...
That's all I have to suggest, as this is mostly a piece meant to relieve what seems to be frustration. I can definitely relate and I hope you find a way to "reach" for happiness and be more emotionally open to positive feelings. Writing is an extremely amazing way to do this and to cope with any kind of negatives in life. I find that writing has helped me get through some of the toughest times in my life and I have been much more open to happiness than I ever have before.
I hope this helps! I look forward to reading more of your work soon. Maybe try your hand at poetry or short stories?
Keep writing,
-Katja