Published March 14, 2009
Oh how I seek, Oh how I pray,
My dear Goddess come to me when I need help,
See me when I am hidden,
Bring me good health,
Please forgive me if I disobey you.
I promise to respect and honor you,
I will show you that I am worthy of your power,
I truly believe in your greatness,
I shall praise you, The Goddess,
You are my one and only belief,
I shall not fail The Goddess.
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Hello! I'm Colt
Welcome to YWS! It's nice to meet you. If you need help around here, feel free to private message (PM) me.
I see you are new and all, so you probably don't know the rules. First off, YWS has a strict rule that for every piece of work you post, you must have reviewed to pieces of work. This is an important rule. I know it sounds cheesy, but YWS couldn't function as well without this rule. If everyone just posted their work and reviewed none, there wouldn't be a point to this site. The point, I believe, is to further strengthen our abilities and skills as writers through editing and writing.
Oh how I seek, Oh how I pray, (I would indent Oh how I pray, or at least lower case it)
My dear Goddess come to me when I need help,
See me when I am hidden,
Bring me good health,
Please forgive me if I disobey you.
This stanza just seems to not flow very well to me....I don't know, it might just be me, but be careful with that.
I promise to respect and honor you,
I will show you that I am worthy of your power,
I truly believe in your greatness, (I would look up a synonym for greatness, it doesn't seem well here)
I shall praise you, The Goddess, (I think The should be my)
You are my one and only belief,
I shall not fail The Goddess.
Overall, this was pretty good. I couldn't tell what emotion or feeling you were trying to get across. So then was this on Wicca? I did research on that religion, there's more than one god, goddess, and the several deities. I liked it though; short and sweet.
Bravo!