Warning: This work has been rated 18+.
My people say to me -"You're The Light of Family"
And I am the ' Hope' they rely on...
Walking hand in hand with life in Motion,
What future is about ,Had no Notion.
Then happened something I never Imagined....
I feel dirty, Being touched & assaulted,
And for more than that,
I wondered -what more is left?
Sharp thing pierced into my body ,Inches Depth
Leaving my soul in Wrath,
I was trapped , Still I fought;
And then my parts were Oozed out,
I wondered-what I did to them?
For this shameful Act , I bornt; They meant
This was not just a bit of 'unlawful act';
I am dead, by this Act, - It's a fact
My Soul seeks & pleads to Wreak,
Is law dead? Someone speak
The Spark of light blows out,
Someone's Hope gets, crushed off,
The world is black; People with different shades
No More; I belong to this Black World,
Cause a Dark Shade Ate ME Up!!
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140,442 Literary Works • 673,191 Reviews
Hello!
I found this poem very powerful and hard to read. While I can tell that you might need a bit of help with your grammar, the meaning was clear, and that's all I can really ask.
I think that this would do really well as a spoken word poem, as in, a poem that is performed on stage for an audience. Personal experience is very important when dealing with a heavy subject, and your experience is valuable and might help someone in their pain if they are dealing with a similar thing.
I really appreciate how you illustrate what happened to you. It's shocking, and something I myself am terrified of. Honestly, I don't really have anything bad to say about this poem because it is obviously so deeply personal.
One thing I might suggest changing is the pictures. I don't think that they really help the poem out any. I don't think that they hurt the poem, either, but I would have liked to see the whole poem without scrolling down so I can get the full effect of it. If you still want to have pictures accompanying this piece, I think you might want to put them all at the end or the beginning. That way, the readers are able to see what you wanted to convey, but at the same time can experience the words only if they want to do that.
Altogether, I enjoyed reading and reviewing this. Please keep writing and posting, and remember, this is not the end of life. There is still more out there. Sending good vibes your way. I hope that this review proves useful to you! Happy writing, and happy review day!
Thank you! , for reviewing and suggesting points. But it seems like you have predicted me as a victim and I am really not. I have used images to make it more descriptive as I have no personal experience. It is just a poem depicting the incident that happens nowadays. I had chosen images so that the reader could easily understand what I meant, while reading. So, the use of image is purposely done here. I believe myself as a learner and so I will surely work-hard , be on my grammar or writing. And I really appreciate the way you have analysed the depicted scenario.
hey! prithamrittika is here for a quick review.your poetry theme is very interesting and the way you write this poem and the way you express you thoughts, its really different and nice. I like this topic.You used this pictures to express your poem.It's really a different thought..different idea.You told about the bad things of the world..
It's really very nice. Your writing style..then the poem..the theme..You really did a great job..There is nothing to say about this poem because it's really very nice.
keep writing like this..
Thank you! prithamrittika , for your quick review
. I Kusha hereby, wants to thank you for each compliments, regarding the poem and writing style. I am really happy that it touched your heart. Your wordings really gave me an inspiration. 
Hey it's Mahvash here. Hope you are doing fine. This piece of writing is amazing and yes it speaks out about many issues that are on top of list but yet our society is not ready to eliminate it. You have raised a very serious issue in this poem very beautifully. The use of imagery is good and the flow of the poem is excellent. The punctuation is good and I think there is no fault in this. Good job. Keep writing like this.
Thanks! for your words. Your review has really given me an internal motivation. And I salute you for the way you have used your experience and turning points a driving force into lifeworks. yes, I'll always try my Best.
It's my Pleasure %uD83D%uDE0A
These incidents arouse many questions on varied aspects of ''humanity''...isn't the questions answered?? or leave a mark of ignorance..pure description of realization@Kusha#awakening
Money is Power & Power rules the world. So,'Mark of Ignorance' is a good phrase to say here. Either the case is closed or justice delays.
But if brutal incidents repeats over time, it should be forced to stop rather than being ignored.@ bhumija